Death comes to us all, but end-of-life planning is a discussion that most of us try to avoid. Advanced planning involves making thoughtful decisions about your final arrangements before they’re needed, sparing loved ones from difficult decisions during their time of grief. 

While these conversations are difficult and uncomfortable, they provide an opportunity for you to express your wishes, ease financial and emotional burdens, and create space for heartfelt goodbyes ahead of time. Advanced planning also allows you to consider every detail about your send-off – including how and where you’d like to be buried. 

This blog offers helpful advice on how you can initiate these challenging discussions with your friends and family. By addressing your plans and wishes before your death, you can turn an emotionally charged and potentially upsetting process into an act of love, care and compassion for those who matter the most. 

What are the benefits of end-of-life planning?

End-of-life planning is a beneficial process for both you and your loved ones. Here are some of the positive outcomes of being prepared before you die:  

Above all else, you’ll gain peace of mind that your wishes will be honoured in the way you intended, with your legacy living on long after your death.  

How to have difficult conversations about advanced planning

Create the right environment

It’s very important to create the right setting. This won’t be an easy conversation, so choose a quiet, private space where everyone feels comfortable and able to freely express their feelings. Avoid bringing up the topic of advanced planning during holidays or family celebrations. Instead, find a time when everyone is relatively relaxed and not distracted by other events. Plus, having these talks in person rather than over the phone allows you to read body language and respond to emotional cues more effectively. 

Depending on your family dynamics, you should think about who you’d like to include in the conversation. You should also consider whether to approach the topic one-on-one or involve multiple family members all at once.  

Start the conversation

Beginning discussions about end-of-life planning requires a level of sensitivity. Rather than announcing, “We need to talk about what I want to happen when I die,” try less direct approaches such as: 

Approaching the idea of end-of-life planning carefully and sensitively helps turn what could be a morbid discussion into a gentler, more productive conversation that everyone benefits from. 

Address emotional resistance 

It’s natural for loved ones to resist these difficult conversations. Some common responses include:  

 When faced with resistance, acknowledge their feelings: “I understand this is uncomfortable, and I find it difficult too.” Explain that these discussions are ultimately about supporting each other and honouring your wishes.  

 Sometimes, sharing why advanced planning matters to you personally can help break through resistance: “It would give me peace of mind to know we’ve discussed this together before I die.” If someone becomes visibly upset, it’s okay to pause and continue the conversation another time. 

Try to move beyond the taboo

Our collective reluctance to discuss death and what happens afterwards often stems from superstition, fear or a lack of understanding on how to start the conversation. To move past these barriers: 

Remember that breaking taboos often requires multiple conversations, so you may need to sit down often with loved ones to have your wishes heard. Similarly, don’t rush or pressure your friends and family to have conversations they’re not ready to have. Lay the foundations and work at a pace you’re all comfortable with.  

Document your wishes clearly 

When having conversations about advanced planning, make a physical note of key decisions. Include clear details on: 

Rather than relying on memory, create written or typed records of your wishes. You might even benefit from speaking with a funeral director to help with the more complicated aspects of advanced planning.  

Be mindful of financial implications

The financial aspects of funeral planning can be daunting for both you and your family. When discussing costs: 

Paying for your funeral or burial plot in advance will alleviate the financial burden on your loved ones. However, this isn’t possible for every family. Speaking openly and honestly about the true state of your finances and what may need to be covered in the future means everyone will be prepared ahead of time.  

End-of-life planning requires several key components. Read our simple step-by-step guide on what to consider when pre-planning your funeral and learn why it’s a beneficial process for you and your loved ones.  

 

Even though we don’t often think about our death and what happens afterwards, more and more people are planning how and where they’d like to be remembered. If you’re thinking about planning your own funeral or want to find out more about the benefits of doing so, we’ve pulled together this handy blog on why pre-planning your funeral is a good thing to do.

1. You’ll be able to save yourself and your family money

Funerals – whether unexpected or not – are often a considerable expense to families. By pre-planning, you can relieve your loved ones from the burden of footing the bill during an already-difficult time. Plus, by thinking about things before the time comes, you can pay off your funeral over a longer period, allowing you to spread the cost into more manageable chunks. You also won’t need to worry about inflation making your funeral more expensive.

Some Funeral Directors offer payment plans that you can benefit from, so it’s well worth having a chat with yours (if you decide to use one) before you put down a deposit. You can find out more about funerals plans here.

2. You can have your funeral exactly as you want it

Your loved ones will no doubt honour you as best as they can, but unless you’ve spoken to them about your wishes beforehand, they might have some ideas of their own. By pre-planning your service, you can have it exactly as you want it. Whether you have a particular theme in mind or want your guests to wear a certain colour, you can set out what you want before the funeral, giving yourself the send-off you deserve.

3. You’ll have time to make important decisions

Pre-planning your funeral means you can slow down and take some time to think about what you actually want. When loved ones are left to plan a funeral, the finer details are often overlooked due to it being a highly emotional time. Some people also struggle to know what to do under pressure.

Instead of hasty decision-making, you’ll have the opportunity to shop around, find companies that meet your values and plan your funeral at a pace that suits you.

4. You’ll save your loved ones from unnecessary stress

Planning a funeral isn’t easy – especially during the early stages of grief. By getting your affairs in order before you die, you can ease your family’s stress by taking away the burden of funeral planning. You may also take some comfort in knowing everything is taken care of before the time comes.

5. You can relieve your loved ones of making complex decisions

If you’re religious, have spiritual beliefs or want a particular kind of service, pre-planning means you can take care of the trickier elements of funeral planning. It’s not uncommon for friends and family members to make mistakes when they’re grieving. Choosing what you want and how you want it removes the risk of oversights, giving you peace of mind that your wishes are taken care of.

To find out more about pre-planning your funeral, such as what to think about, take a look at our step-by-step pre-planning guide. If you’d like to plan ahead, pre-purchased plots can now be acquired with a GreenAcres instalment plan. Simply secure the space you want at today’s prices and pay it back over 10 months with no added interest. For more information, please speak to a member of the team at your local Park.

 

 

Gone are the days when funerals meant mourners wore dark colours, sang hymns and were led by a religious official in a place of worship. Today, funerals are becoming a more personal affair, with the deceased having a much bigger say in what they want to happen at their funeral before they die.  

Tradition isn’t for everyone. Whether you’re planning your own funeral or organising a ceremony for someone you love, here are some ways you can make it more personal to reflect the life that was lived.  

Ask mourners to wear bright colours 

One of the most common ways to personalise a funeral is to ask mourners to wear bright colours. Bright colours are typically seen as a celebration of life, bringing comfort to those who are mourning and feeling anxious about the ceremony. 

According to a study by YouGov in 2016, only 22% of people see black funeral attire as a requirement at funerals, with a further 29% believing any colour is acceptable. You may want to specify a specific shade – perhaps your loved one’s favourite colour. Or you could even suggest that mourners wear the colours of the football team your loved one supported in life. Sometimes ‘anything but black’ is enough of a steer to help people decide what to wear.  

One of our Park Managers shared this heart-warming story with us about one of the funerals held in their Park: 

“One that sticks out for me at Chiltern is a lady who had a service and burial. She was super flamboyant and extremely colourful in all aspects of her life – from how she dressed to the colour of her hair. All the guests were dressed in many different colours. Her daughter also wanted to do something special and found a beautiful multi-coloured horse and carriage to take her mum to her final resting place. It was such a beautiful service, and it was an honour to help the family.” 

Choose a unique coffin  

You can make a coffin as unique as you’d like it to be. From bright colours and bespoke themes to prints and sporting crests, there’s no end to the options available to you.  

There are picture coffins to consider, too. These are coffins adorned with a particular picture that takes inspiration from the deceased’s favourite places, hobbies, or sports. You can even have their favourite photograph printed onto the coffin, serving as a celebration of their life long after they’re gone.  

Create a unique floral display 

Celebrate your loved one’s passions by creating a unique floral display. You could create an open book floral arrangement as a tribute to a bookworm, or have the flowers arranged as an instrument to celebrate a musician. If your loved one was a keen gardener, why not include their favourite flowers and plants from their own garden?  

No idea is too difficult for the right florist. Talk to a local funeral florist about your ideas, and they’ll find a way to bring them to life.  

Have a civil ceremony led by a celebrant or humanist 

Funerals led by a celebrant or humanist are now very popular. Humanist ceremonies tend to be non-religious, which is one of the main reasons why people choose to have one. Civil celebrants tailor the service entirely to the deceased’s wishes, allowing them to have as much or as little religious content as they like. Both types of ceremony can be spiritual and are fully flexible to represent the life you or your loved one lived.  

Use alternative transport to a hearse 

A traditional hearse is most widely used to carry a coffin to a funeral, but there are several companies in the UK – like Morton’s Funeral Hire , TCribb and Bennetts Funeral Directors – that specialise in transforming unique modes of transport into hearses with enough space to hold a coffin. Instead of a classic hearse, you could choose a: 

You could even choose a traditional horse-drawn glass hearse, giving your loved one the magical send-off they deserve. Speak to your local funeral director to discuss your requirements in detail and see what’s possible.

Add personal finishing touches 

Here are some finishing touches you might want to consider to make a funeral more personal:  

You could also decorate the Service Hall with things special to your loved one – like this family did at one of our Parks: 

“We had a burial service for a lady in her 90s who was well known in Grayshott village for cycling around on her tricycle and being very active in the area. She was also a great quilter, and her family brought all her quilts and bunting which we used to decorate the hall. Her famous tricycle also played a part! Her service was a wonderful celebration of her life and the family were very pleased that it was so personal and special.” 

If you’d like to arrange a more personal funeral for yourself or a loved one, speak to a friendly and knowledgeable member of the GreenAcres team and we’ll do everything we can to accommodate your wishes.  

If you ever have to plan your own or a loved one’s funeral, one of the things you’ll need to think about is choosing the right songs. The music you choose doesn’t have to be sombre. While traditional funerals commemorate those who have passed with hymns and organ music, funeral songs can be light-hearted, humorous and even upbeat. The most important thing is that the music you choose reflects your loved one and gives mourners the chance to celebrate their life.  

Choosing music can be a tricky task, so we’ve compiled a list of the most popular funeral songs to help ease some of the burden of arranging a funeral.  

Most popular modern funeral songs 

With funerals becoming more personalised and unique, it’s becoming increasingly popular to remember your loved one with modern music. Here are some of the most popular contemporary songs you might want to consider.   

  1. Fleetwood Mac – Songbird 
  2. Candle In The Wind – Elton John 
  3. Somewhere Over The Rainbow – Eva Cassidy 
  4. Angels – Robbie Williams 
  5. You Raise Me Up – Westlife 
  6. Flying Without Wings – Westlife 
  7. Angel – Sarah McLachlan 
  8. Supermarket Flowers – Ed Sheeran 
  9. I’ll Be Missing You – Puff Daddy & Faith Evans 
  10. Tears In Heaven – Eric Clapton 
  11. Wind Beneath My Wings – Bette Midler 
  12. Wish You Were Here – Pink Floyd 

Most popular hymns 

Hymns are a particularly popular choice for religious funerals. As they’re familiar to most of us, hymns bring mourners together and provide comfort as they say their goodbyes. These are the most well-known for you to consider.  

  1.  Jerusalem 
  2. Amazing Grace 
  3. Abide With Me 
  4. The Old Rugged Cross 
  5. All Things Bright and Beautiful 
  6. My Lord’s My Shepherd 
  7. How Great Art Thou 
  8. Lord of All Hopefulness 
  9. Morning Has Broken 
  10. Here I Am Lord 

Most popular classical funeral songs 

Classical music is moving and emotional, making it one of the most popular choices for funerals. Some pieces are haunting and dramatic, while others are more uplifting, setting the scene for a timeless and respectful funeral service. Here are some of the most popular classical songs. 

  1. Lacrimosa from Requiem – Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart 
  2. Pie Jesu – Fauré 
  3. Air on a G String – Bach 
  4. Nimrod from Enigma Variations – Elgar 
  5. Adagio – Albinoni 
  6. The Four Seasons – Vivaldi 
  7. Ave Maria – Schubert 
  8. Canon in D – Paachelbel 
  9. Andrea Bocelli – Time To Say Goodbye 
  10. The Lark Ascending – Vaughan Williams 

Most popular sports music 

Playing a song, anthem or theme tune associated with your loved one’s favourite sport or team is a touching way to pay tribute to them. Each team has its own tune, but here are some of the most widely known.   

  1. You’ll Never Walk Alone (Liverpool FC anthem) – Gerry and the Pacemakers 
  2. Match of the Day Theme Song 
  3. The Chain (Formula 1 theme song) – Fleetwood Mac 
  4. The Best (Rangers FC) – Tina Turner 
  5. Going Home (Newcastle United) – Mark Knopfler 

Uplifting funeral songs 

Sad and sombre funeral songs don’t suit everyone. If your loved one had a wicked sense of humour or you want to lighten the mood with an upbeat tune, these songs are the perfect way to celebrate someone who loved life and maintained their spirit until the very end.  

  1.  My Way – Frank Sinatra 
  2. The Best – Tina Turner 
  3. (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life – Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes
  4. Heroes – David Bowie 
  5. Always Look on the Bright Side of Life – Monty Python 
  6. Bring Me Sunshine – Morecambe and Wise 
  7. What a Wonderful World – Louis Armstrong 
  8. We’ll Meet Again – Vera Lynn
  9. Don’t Worry. Be Happy – Bobby McFerrin 
  10. I’m Gonna Live Till I Die – Frank Sinatra 

If you’re pre-planning your funeral or dealing with the loss of a loved one and need some support, we’re here for you. For more information about pre-planning or to join us at one of our remembrance events or monthly Bereavement Groups, please visit our website.