When a father experiences the unimaginable loss of a child, most of the focus turns to the mother’s grief. While this support is vital, a father’s pain is often unintentionally overlooked or misunderstood. As a result, many men struggle with their grief in silence and are forced to cope with feelings of isolation and loss without the same level of attention or support. 

This is why spaces like Men’s Sheds are so important. They provide a safe and supportive environment where men can connect with like-minded people, share their worries and find understanding from those going through the same thing. They also give them room to build relationships, rediscover purpose and navigate life’s challenges after loss.  

We understand how painful grief can be. This blog will help guide you through these emotions as well as providing places you can go to seek support.   

The challenges facing grieving fathers

When a father loses a child, men are often expected to remain strong and stoic, so they focus on supporting their families rather than addressing their own emotions. This can leave many fathers feeling isolated and unable to express their grief, heightening their pain and leaving them with no room to heal.  

Acknowledge your grief

If you’ve suffered the loss of a child, it’s important you allow yourself to wholly feel your emotions – good and bad. Give yourself permission to mourn in your own way, whether that’s through quiet reflection, talking to someone or engaging in activities that help you process your feelings. 

Open up to people you trust

It can be tempting or even instinctual to keep your emotions bottled up, but grief isn’t something you can put in a box. Instead, sharing your feelings with someone you trust can help you start to come to terms with your loss. Whether it’s a friend, partner or a support group, talking can help take some of the weight off your shoulders. It can also keep the memory of your loved one alive. You don’t have to speak if you’re not ready; writing a letter or even spending time with your friends and family in silence can bring a sense of comfort. 

Find purpose in activities you enjoy doing

Doing activities, you enjoy can help you find a sense of purpose and normalcy in your grief. Examples could include practical tasks like DIY, hobbies or even volunteering within your local community. Everyday activities provide structure and allow you to channel your energy into something other than your grief – even if it’s only for a few short hours when you feel up to it. 

Consider getting professional help

Sometimes, the weight of grief can feel too heavy to carry alone. Seeking support from a specialist bereavement therapist or counsellor can provide you with the tools you need to navigate your emotions and find a healthy way through your journey with grief.  

Seek support from Men’s Sheds

Building social connections often proves more challenging for men than it does for women. Unlike women, many older men have fewer close friendships and are less likely to open up about personal worries or health concerns. While this isn’t true for everyone, retirement can leave some men feeling adrift, as if they’ve lost their sense of purpose or identity. That’s where Men’s Sheds step in. They offer a way to rediscover connection, community and a renewed sense of belonging. 

Men’s Sheds encourage people to come together to make, repair and repurpose, supporting projects in their local communities. Men’s Sheds are similar to garden sheds, but instead of being solitary, they’re a place where men can build social connections and friendships while sharing skills, knowledge and plenty of laughter.  

While these spaces are known as Sheds, they can be whatever the members (or Shedders as they’re called) want them to be. This can include empty offices, portable cabins, warehouses and garages. The most important thing is that the Sheds offer men the chance to meet like-minded people, share their worries and gain a renewed sense of purpose. That’s why Men’s Sheds are vital. 

There are 900+ Open Sheds across the UK right now. Head over to the website to find a Men’s Shed in your area. You can also learn more about starting your own.

Other supportive bereavement groups

Men’s Sheds aren’t the only support group you can turn to if you need guidance. There are several other resources, charities and networks that offer help and advice, including:  

Find the support you need in a GreenAcres Living Memorial Park

If you’re struggling to come to terms with grief or need someone to talk to, we hold events, remembrance services and bereavement cafés at our Parks throughout the year.  

You may find particular comfort from our bereavement cafés, which are held within the beautiful landscapes of our Parks and provide a kind, supportive space with understanding from others who are also living with life after loss. We also provide grief books, signposting information to other bereavement organisations and other resources to help with your grief journey.  

Head over to our website to find a GreenAcres Bereavement Cafés. 

As our world becomes increasingly conscious of the environmental impact of our choices, funerals are no exception. Traditional burial practices often rely on materials and processes that can leave a heavy environmental footprint. However, eco-friendly alternatives for burials, such as those offered at GreenAcres Living Memorial Parks, are transforming how we honour our loved ones while protecting the planet for future generations. At the forefront of this movement is the innovative Loop Living Cocoon™, a groundbreaking eco-coffin that exemplifies the future of sustainable burials.

The Growing Importance of Green Burials

Eco-friendly burials are designed to minimise the environmental impact of traditional funeral practices. By prioritising biodegradable materials, reducing emissions, and avoiding harmful chemicals, green burials offer a more harmonious way of returning to the earth. GreenAcres Living Memorial Parks have embraced this philosophy by providing tranquil woodland and parkland where families can say goodbye in a way that honours both their loved ones and the natural world.

Key elements of eco-friendly burials include:

GreenAcres Living Memorial Parks are uniquely designed to support these principles, offering not only a serene resting place but also a commitment to environmental stewardship.

Introducing the Loop Living Cocoon™

The Loop Living Cocoon™ represents a revolutionary step in green funerals. Made from mycelium – the underground root network of mushrooms – and upcycled hemp fibres, this eco-coffin is 100% natural and fully biodegradable. Remarkably, it biodegrades within just 45 days, enriching the soil and increasing biodiversity. And a tree was not cut down to create this type of coffin.

Why Mycelium? Mycelium is nature’s ultimate recycler. It transforms organic matter into nutrients, shares resources with the forest floor, and enhances soil quality. By utilising mycelium, the Loop Living Cocoon™ not only minimises environmental harm but actively contributes to a healthier planet.

Features of the Loop Living Cocoon™

Its hydrophobic properties make it suitable for all weather conditions, and it can be stored indefinitely when kept in a dry, ventilated space.

Redefining Legacies

Choosing the Loop Living Cocoon™ is more than an eco-friendly decision; it’s a statement about the legacy you wish to leave. By choosing a coffin that enriches the soil and promotes biodiversity, you create a living memorial that continues to give back to the earth. This aligns perfectly with GreenAcres’ mission to sustain and enhance our natural landscapes for generations to come.

Loop will have a distribution centre in the UK, meaning UK Funeral Directors will be able to purchase the Loop Living Cocoon™ on request.

A greener future

At GreenAcres Living Memorial Parks, we believe that everyone should have the information and options to make meaningful and environmentally conscious funeral choices. As we move toward achieving net-zero emissions across our business, innovations like the Loop Living Cocoon™ play a vital role in shaping the future of funerals.

Loop Biotech have also created an urn called Loop EarthRise™, just like the coffin – this feeds the earth and improves biodiversity, meaning that your loved one’s ashes can be a source for nature to flourish within the woodland, meadow, orchard, garden or lawn area of any GreenAcres Living Memorial Park. The Loop EarthRise™ urns are available to purchase directly from GreenAcres Living Memorial Parks.

If you’re planning for yourself or a loved one, consider the environmental impact of each decision. From biodegradable coffins to woodland and wildflower meadow burials, every choice can make a difference. Together, we can honour our loved ones while preserving the beauty of our planet.

To learn more about our eco-friendly burial options visit GreenAcres Living Memorial Parks. To find out more on Loop Biotech and the Loop Living Cocoon™ and Loop EarthRise™, visit Loop Living Cocoon™ – World’s first living coffin. Let’s create a legacy that honours life and nurtures the earth.

While it’s not something we generally talk about out loud, many of us hope to leave behind more than just memories after death. We want to be remembered – not just for what we did, but for who we were and how we made others feel. Whether through the life lessons we’ve shared or the heirlooms we’ve passed down to new generations, the idea of leaving a legacy means our story will live on in the hearts and minds of our loved ones.

You might be wondering how you can create a legacy that lives on long after you’ve gone. From choosing your final resting place to contributing to your community, this blog explores the steps you can take to create a lasting legacy that continues long after death.

Document your life’s story

Whether through a memoir, diary or even video recordings, documenting your life’s journey can inspire your loved ones and future generations – including even family members you won’t meet. By sharing your triumphs, challenges and the lessons you learned along the way, you not only keep your memory alive once you’ve gone, but you can also help others understand their place in your family’s history. Your story becomes a bridge between the past and the future, offering both comfort to those you leave behind and a connection between you and those who come long after you.  

Pass heirlooms down to your loved ones

Passing down heirlooms is a lovely way to preserve your legacy and keep your memory alive – especially if your loved ones had a particular fondness for some of your cherished belongings. Whether it’s a piece of jewellery, a treasured ornament collection, photographs, videos, recipes or a handwritten letter, the sentimental value of your heirlooms means these items become reminders of who you were and the things you loved when you were alive. They can also be passed on through the generations, connecting you to your family long after you’re gone.

Contribute to your community

Having a positive impact within your community can create a legacy that lasts for years after your death. No matter how big or small, things like volunteering, mentoring people who need guidance or supporting local causes ensure your name is associated with positive progress within your local area. Don’t forget to talk to your loved ones about all the good things you’ve done so they’re aware of your impact within the community. After all, they’re bound to want to shout about your achievements to anyone who’ll listen.

Pre-plan your funeral

Part of creating a legacy that lives on after you’ve gone is choosing how – and where – you’d like to be remembered. End-of-life planning helps ease the financial burden on your family and also allows you to get the funeral you want. It might feel strange to think about pre-planning your own send-off, but there are several benefits if you’d like to have control over the final part of your life. Read our guide to pre-planning a funeral to find out more. 

Choose your final resting place

Considering how you’d like to be remembered helps create a long-lasting legacy. Choosing your final resting place ahead of time comes with many benefits – for example, you can find a resting place that reflects who you are and serves as a meaningful tribute to your life, values and the memories you’ve shared with loved ones.

By choosing a GreenAcres Living Memorial Park, you’ll have comfort in knowing that your final resting place will be in the beauty of nature where your loved ones will want to visit time after time. You have the choice of peaceful woodlands, stunning wildflower meadows and relaxing, well-cared-for parkland. We’ve created different Park Experiences to give you more choice when looking for a memorial that serves as a special legacy for years to come.

Find out more about our five distinctive Park Experiences.

Final Resting Place

Grief is a profound, often overwhelming experience that affects us emotionally, physically and mentally. In the search for healing, many of us turn to the restorative power of nature. We know that many people get great comfort from the ritual of visiting their loved one’s final resting place. Our nature-rich Parks honour the deceased while providing tranquil spaces teeming with richly diverse flora and fauna for the living to reflect on precious memories.  

Forest bathing is a therapeutic practice rooted in the simplicity of being surrounded by the tranquility of a forest environment. If you’ve never heard of it before, this blog covers everything you need to know about how forest bathing help you navigate the difficult journey of grief and how to incorporate it the next time you visit a GreenAcres Living Memorial Park. 

What is forest bathing? 

Known in Japan as Shinrin yoku, forest bathing is an ancient Japanese practice of relaxation that involves being surrounded by the forest and engaging all the senses to experience nature’s healing power. Though the name might sound unfamiliar, forest bathing is a simple act that’s all about slowing down and mindfully connecting with the forest’s sights, sounds, smells, and textures.  

As more people look to nature for healing during tough times, forest bathing offers an escape from grief and promotes harmony between the mind, body and nature.   

What are the benefits of forest bathing for grief? 

Scientific studies have shown that forest bathing can significantly reduce stress, boost mood and enhance overall wellbeing. The benefits also extend beyond mental health, contributing to improved cardiovascular health and a strengthened immune system. 

Nature offers a calm and serene sanctuary for those dealing with grief, too. Being in nature can’t cure grief, but it can help with recovery by providing you with the solitude you need to come to terms with your feelings. Being outdoors in the beauty of a nature-rich GreenAcres Living Memorial Park lets you disconnect from your everyday life and take a few moments to connect with your loved one without disruption or distraction.  

How to practice forest bathing in a GreenAcres Living Memorial Park 

GreenAcres offers the perfect setting for forest bathing, allowing you to immerse yourself in the natural beauty and tranquility of our glorious woodland, shady glades and rich variety of flora and fauna. Here’s how you can practice forest bathing the next time you visit a GreenAcres Living Memorial Park: 

Choose a quiet time to visit 

Visit one of our Parks during a quieter time, such as early morning or late afternoon, to ensure a peaceful atmosphere that allows you to reflect on precious memories.  

Disconnect from distractions 

Forest bathing is a time to disconnect from the outside world and connect deeply with nature, so turn your phone on silent and turn off any other electronic devices to avoid distraction. 

Begin with slow, mindful movement 

Start your journey with a slow, mindful walk through the Park’s peaceful trails. Focus on each step, feeling the earth beneath your feet while letting the natural rhythm guide you. 

Engage all your senses 

Open your senses to the woodland. Notice the vibrant greens of the leaves, the scent of the flowers, the sound of wind rustling through the trees, and the textures you feel as you brush past plants or touch tree bark. 

Find a comforting spot to rest 

Sit down and immerse yourself in the tranquility of your surroundings by choosing a spot that feels comfortable for you. This could be a quiet bench, a soft patch of grass or a resting spot beside your loved one’s memorial. When you find the right location, try to stop your mind from wandering too far from the moment.  

Practice deep, healing breaths 

Focus on your breathing. Inhale deeply and draw in the fresh air before slowly exhaling to release your sorrow and stress. Let each breath help you find a sense of calm and balance. 

Allow your emotions to flow 

Give yourself permission to feel and express your grief. Whether through tears, silent contemplation or spoken words, let the forest be a safe space for your emotions. 

Reflect and write down your feelings 

You might find comfort in bringing a journal with you to document your thoughts and feelings in the moment. Writing can be a powerful way to process grief and help you understand your journey more clearly. 

End your forest bathing session with gratitude 

End your forest bathing session by acknowledging the support and peace the natural surroundings have offered you. Express gratitude for the moments of serenity and reflection. 

If you find comfort from forest bathing, you can make it a part of your routine whenever you need solace when loved ones are no longer around.  

GreenAcres Living Memorial Parks provide so much more than a prestigious funeral, burial and memorial venue. Set amidst acres of woodland, meadowland and beautifully manicured parkland, our Parks are the perfect place for you to say your goodbyes and reflect on precious memories time and time again.  

If you’re looking for a tranquil environment where you can pay tribute to the person who’s died Contact Us and speak to a member of our friendly team.

Losing your mother or a motherly figure can be one of the most emotional and painful experiences you’ll ever go through. 

This blog will guide you through a myriad of emotions you may be experiencing and will provide useful tips on how to support children grieving the loss of a mother.

Missing your Mum on special occasions

If you are struggling with grief of losing your mother or a motherly figure, special occasions such as Mother’s Day, Christmas, Birthday’s or anniversaries can be challenging. Below we’ve compiled five useful tips to help you deal with loss.

Be kind to yourself – There are five stages of grief from denial to acceptance and you may experience each stage at different times. Understanding these different stages will help you to realise that all the strange feelings you are feeling are perfectly normal.

Talk to your loved ones or friends – By sharing your fondest memories and stories of your mother with someone, can help keep their memory alive and bring some sense of comfort.

Do an activity your mum would love – From cooking her favourite meal, baking a cake, a spot of gardening or even watching one of her favourite TV shows/ Films.

Visit their grave or memorial spot – Taking the time to visit your mother’s grave or memorial spot can help bring you some comfort and time to reflect. 

Practice self-care – Take the day to love and nurture yourself. Run yourself a hot bath, practise yoga, sing, dance, do things that make you smile.

Ask for help – Losing a parent or loved one can be a difficult process, there is no shame in asking for help or extra support if you feel like you are struggling. It maybe helpful to speak to someone outside of your family and friend circle such as your GP or a bereavement specialist. 

NHS approved, Cruse Bereavement Care offers a wide range of support, advice and information to children, young people and adults when someone dies.

Supporting grieving children

For a child who has recently suffered the loss of a mother or motherly figure, the feelings of grief can feel confusing and frustrating. 

Be patient – Children process and express grief differently from adults. Children may go from playing and laughing one minute to floods of tears the next. Be patient with them and let them know that it is ok to feel this way.

Consistency is key – Try to maintain household routines such as mealtimes, bedtimes etc. as much as possible. Structure and consistency are important to a child as they will help to create a sense of security.

Answer their questions – Naturally, children ask a lot of questions and this is no different when it comes to death. Answering any questions children might have about death and why it happens, will help give them a better understanding as to why they are experiencing certain emotions. If you find some questions too difficult to answer, there are many children’s books available that can help explain death in a ‘child friendly’ manner. You can find a list of over 60 children’s books on the topic of death and grief here.

Create a ‘Memory Box’ – Filling a box with photos, keepsakes and other special items is a great activity to do with children to help them feel more connected to a lost one. It is also a tangible item that children can keep going back to when they are feeling sad. https://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Memory-Box

If you are concerned that your child is struggling to cope or have noticed any unusual behavioural changes, you can seek further help and advice from your GP or organisations like Child Bereavement UK and Hope Again.

Prioritising your health and wellbeing

It can be difficult to think of anything else when dealing with grief, but taking some time to focus on the importance of your health and wellbeing can be beneficial, and can even help clear your mind.

Heart disease, Alzheimer’s, Cancer and other non-communicable diseases (NCDs) are the most common cause of death and disability in women worldwide.

Losing a loved one to a disease such as cancer can spark worry into your own health and wellbeing. However, there are steps you can take to help reduce your risks of cancer: 

Tobacco use – Tobacco use is the single largest preventable cause of death worldwide and is the leading cause of over 7 million deaths per year. Quitting at any age can make a huge difference, increasing your life expectancy and improving your quality of life.

Physical Activity – Maintaining a healthy weight and making physical activity part of your everyday life can help reduce your risks of cancer and other health problems, such as heart disease and diabetes.

Alcohol – By reducing and limiting how much you drink, can reduce your risk of 7 cancers including breast, mouth and bowel cancers.

If you are worried about cancer in your family – If you have recently lost your mother or another strong female figure in your family to cancer and are worried if it could be hereditary, the Ovarian Cancer Action website offers a ‘Hereditary Cancer Risk Tool’ which can help to assess your risks of developing certain cancers.

Early detection saves lives – There are many different types of cancers, and symptoms are varied, however, the earlier cancer is detected the higher the chance that it can be successfully treated.

If you are concerned about your health or have experienced any unusual symptoms or changes in your body, don’t be afraid to contact your doctor immediately.

References:

https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/data_statistics/fact_sheets/fast_facts/index.htm#:~:text=Smoking%20is%20the%20leading%20cause,7%20million%20deaths%20per%20year.&text=If%20the%20pattern%20of%20smoking,to%20tobacco%20use%20by%202030.

https://ovarian.org.uk/

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/cancer

https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/causes-of-cancer/alcohol-and-cancer

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/

https://www.cruse.org.uk/

https://www.hopeagain.org.uk/

https://www.worldcancerday.org/

https://waltercarter.com.au/blog/lost-without-her-missing-your-mum-on-mothers-day

https://www.childbereavementuk.org/supporting-bereaved-children-and-young-people

Christmas is a time for family, togetherness and creating special memories. However, for those coping with bereavement, it can also be a time when the absence of loved ones who are no longer with us becomes overwhelming. The empty chair at the table can shine an even bigger spotlight on sadness, making the loss feel even more profound.  

In this blog, we’ll share thoughtful ways to honour and remember the ones we miss during the Christmas festivities. Whether it’s lighting a candle, sharing your favourite stories or setting aside a special space for the deceased at the dinner table, these small acts of remembrance can bring comfort, keep their memory alive and kick-start new traditions. 

Light a candle

One of the simplest yet most meaningful ways to honour the deceased this Christmas is to light a candle in their memory. Many people believe that memorial candles symbolise the continuation of life in death and the enduring presence of the spirit, offering a moment of stillness and literal warmth as you look back on better times.

Adopt their traditions

If your loved one had a special festive tradition, such as baking a particular dessert or playing their favourite Christmas song on repeat, you could consider incorporating it into your own celebrations. Doing so means your loved one will continue to play a part in your festivities both now and in future Christmases. . 

Make space at the table

Christmas dinner brings loved ones together, so you may want to place a photo, a dinner plate or an empty chair at their place at the table to symbolise your loved one’s presence. These small gestures can help bring comfort during grief, especially during the busy Christmas period, which can often feel intensely overwhelming. They also offer the chance to feel close to the dead while still allowing you to enjoy the festivities.  

Find comfort through acts of remembrance

Adding a personal touch to your Christmas remembrance can make the festivities even more meaningful. Some simple ideas include finding or creating a decoration dedicated to the deceased that you can hang on the Christmas tree. You could write your loved one a heartfelt letter or even dedicate a small corner of your home to display their photo with Christmas decorations. For some, donating to or volunteering with a charity their loved one cared about can be a beautiful way to honour and celebrate their memory.  

By personalising the way you remember the deceased, you can transform grief into a celebration of who they were and what they meant to you – which is exactly what Christmas is all about.  

Hang a Christmas stocking 

If you find the fireplace looks bare this Christmas, hang a stocking in memory of the deceased. You could fill it with a few of their favourite Christmas gifts or invite family and friends to leave letters and photos dedicated to their loved one. This won’t be right for everyone, but some people find comfort in seeing the stocking full of life. 

Toast your loved one 

Before the night is over, gather your friends and family and raise a glass to your loved one’s memory. You may want to say a few words or spend a few minutes in silence thinking about the dead. Either way, proposing a Christmas toast is a lovely way to bring the memory of the deceased into the festivities.  

Share stories and traditions 

Sharing stories and continuing the traditions of the deceased is a great way to keep their memory alive. This could be as simple as taking time as a family to share your favourite memories or anecdotes about them. Memories tend to raise a smile, and what better way to spend Christmas? 

Find the support you need in a GreenAcres Park 

If you’re struggling to come to terms with grief or need someone to talk to, we hold events, remembrance services and bereavement cafés at our Parks throughout the year.  

You may find particular comfort from our bereavement cafés, which are held within the beautiful landscapes of our Parks and provide a kind, supportive space with understanding from others who are also living with life after loss. We also provide grief books, signposting information to other bereavement organisations and other resources to help with your grief journey.  

Head over to our website to find a GreenAcres event and bereavement café near you. 

Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy and togetherness, but for those grieving the death of a loved one, it can be a particularly challenging period. The constant reminders of the people no longer here can amplify feelings of loss and bring an even stronger sense of sadness to the festivities. 

If someone you care about is grieving during the Christmas holidays, knowing what to say – or what not to say – can be daunting. How do you offer comfort without saying the wrong thing? In this blog, we’ll explore compassionate ways to send a message to those grieving at Christmas. Whether through kind words or carefully chosen gifts, there are several thoughtful ways to show you care this festive season.  

What to write in a Christmas card for someone who’s grieving

Sending Christmas cards is a long-standing tradition for many people, with the world’s first recorded use of “Merry Christmas” sent in 1534. Even though writing a Christmas card for someone who is grieving can feel daunting, your words can bring great comfort. The important thing is to acknowledge their loss and show that you care. Avoid clichés like “time heals all wounds” or overly cheerful messages that may feel out of place. Instead, choose messages with sincerity and empathy. 

 Start with a heartfelt acknowledgement of their grief. For example: 

“I know this Christmas will be especially difficult for you without [loved one’s name]. Nothing I say can ease the pain, but I just want you to know I’m thinking of you and sending you love.” 

You may also want to include a brief memory or sentiment about the person who died to add even more meaning to your Christmas message: 

“[Name] brought so much joy to those around them, and their memory lives on in all of us who loved them. I fondly remember when [add a memory here]…” 

Remind the person grieving they’re not alone: “If you need anything or just want to talk, I’m always here for you.” 

End your message with a compassionate wish: “Wishing you peace and comfort this Christmas, and hoping you find moments of warmth and love amidst the grief.” 

Writing a message to someone who’s suffering the loss of a loved one is never easy. But if you find yourself staring at a blank page because you have no idea what to say or where to even start, let your message come from the heart. And remember – even if you don’t receive a reply, your effort to reach out will mean so much to the person who’s grieving.  

How to send a Christmas text or email

If you’re not one for sending Christmas cards, you may want to text or email a Christmas message instead. Sending a Christmas text or email to someone who’s grieving is a quick and kind way to let them know they’re in your thoughts. While an electronic message may feel less personal than a handwritten card, it can still offer comfort, especially during an emotionally charged Christmas period. 

As your texts and emails are likely to be shorter and more frequent, your message might include phrases like:  

 Tell your loved one not to worry about replying so they don’t have the added pressure of sending a message back. 

Christmas gift ideas for someone who’s coping with a bereavement

  1. Personalised keepsakes: A custom photo frame, an ornament or a piece of jewellery engraved with either their loved one’s name or a special date can be a touching way to honour the deceased’s memory. 

  2. Cosy self-care gifts: A soft blanket, a cosy pair of slippers, bubble bath or a scented candle are great self-care gifts that can provide physical comfort when things feel especially tough.

  3. A diary and stationery: A diary and accompanying stationery set can encourage your loved one to express their emotions and write down their feelings. This can be especially cathartic to those who struggle to talk about their feelings out loud. 

  4. Subscription services: There are many subscription services you could choose from, including meal boxes, TV streaming and monthly coffee pod deliveries. These can make life a little easier for the person grieving and give them something to look forward to.  

  5. A donation to charity: Donating to a charity that meant something to the deceased or which offered the person grieving support is a wonderful way to honour their memory. 

Join us for our Christmas Remembrance Service 

We understand that far from being a joyous time, Christmas can be challenging and even upsetting for those dealing with loss. Our Christmas Remembrance Service provides a space for you to reflect on precious memories surrounded by people who can relate to how you feel. Book your place at your nearest GreenAcres Park on 8th December 2024 and please stay for refreshments afterwards if you feel up to it. We hope to see you there.  

 

 

Christmas is a time of joy, celebration and spending time with loved ones. But for those dealing with a loss, it’s a time tinged with sadness. Christmas can bring grief to the forefront, serving as a painful reminder of the people who are no longer with us. Even if the death occurred many years ago, it’s important to understand how to support someone through their grief at Christmas so that they know they have someone to lean on should they need a friendly ear.

This blog will give you advice on what to say and what to do to help those who struggle with their grief at Christmas.

Don’t avoid speaking about Christmas

It’s natural to avoid speaking about Christmas if you don’t know how to approach the subject. But this can make the person who’s grieving feel more alone. Instead, it’s better to acknowledge that it will be a difficult time and that you’re always there for the person if they need support.

If you plan to send a Christmas card, write a message from the heart. Name the person who died and share a memory to help ease the pain. You may even raise a smile.

Reach out

While you’ve undoubtedly got a million things to think about before Christmas day, set aside some time to reach out to your friend or relative. A simple text or phone call can go a long way in making them feel less isolated when everyone around them is busy gearing up for the big day. Ask them how they’re feeling and allow them to speak about their loss if they feel up to it.

Try not to leave it too long in between texts. It’s easy to read a message and forget about it, intending to reply when you’re less busy. But keep the conversation going as long as your friend or family member needs.

Listen without interrupting

Those dealing with grief often find it hard to open up during the Christmas period. When everyone else is having fun going to Christmas parties and listening to festive music, they keep feelings bottled up to avoid bringing the mood down. Unfortunately, this ends up leaving their grief feeling far worse.

It’s important to offer your friend or relative the opportunity to get their emotions out. Allow the person grieving to speak about their feelings by creating a safe space for them to open up as honestly as they want to. Don’t interrupt, make comparisons or offer unwarranted advice. Simply make a cup of tea, provide the mince pies and lend a tentative ear.

Extend an invitation but support their choice

Christmas can be a lonely time for those suffering a loss. While your friend or family member may not be up for the festivities this year, extend an invitation so they know they’re welcome. It may be that they’d rather be on their own, but they’re bound to appreciate the thoughtful gesture, nonetheless. Likewise, if they choose to decline, respect their decision and try again the following year.

Christmas often loses its shine after a loss – at least in the immediate aftermath. Many people prefer to treat the 25th of December like any other day while they try to cope with their grief.

Offer help

If your friend or relative chooses to celebrate Christmas, offer to help them wrap gifts, prepare food or pick up last-minute stocking fillers. When people struggle, they tend to carry on regardless. The offer of help could be the thing they need to get through the festive period intact. Even if they don’t take you up on it, it’s a kind and thoughtful thing to do.

Keep the conversation going after Christmas

Grief is ongoing. Even when Christmas is over and done with, your friend or relative still has to deal with the tidal wave of emotions as time goes on. Remember to keep checking in on them beyond Christmas. It’s true that the festive period can be the most painful time, but grief is far from linear. They will appreciate your love and support, regardless of the season.

If you’re suffering from grief this Christmas or you know someone who is, you’re welcome to join us at your local GreenAcres Living Memorial Park for our Christmas Remembrance Service. Whether this is your first Christmas without this special person or the time of year that makes the memories that little bit harder, our Christmas Remembrance Service can be a lovely way to spend time reflecting.

It may also help to connect with others who have lost someone too. We have a wonderful nurturing community through our GreenAcres Bereavement Cafés, which run once a month in every Park; please see our events page for more information. Find out more by visiting the events page on our website.

Taking place from 9-15th October, Baby Loss Awareness Week is a time to raise awareness of pregnancy and baby loss. Among those affected are children who may have lost a much loved or much hoped-for sibling.

Children and young people grieve just as deeply as adults, but they show it in different ways. When your baby dies, it can feel difficult to know how to tell your child and support them.

We’re here to support you, so this blog will help you talk to children about grief and encourage them to share their feelings. Read on for more information.

Understanding how children may feel

After the death of a sibling, a child may feel a range of emotions, from sadness and anger to confusion and worry. They may also feel concerned that they or another family member might die.

Younger children often move in and out of their grief very rapidly, sometimes seeming sad and then suddenly wanting to play. This ‘puddle jumping’ is normal and is a young child’s way of coping with difficult emotions.

Children under five may show their distress with disrupted sleep, altered appetite and less interest in play. There may be a regression in skills such as language or toilet training, or they might become anxious about the dark when going to bed.

‘Magical thinking’ is a characteristic of primary age children meaning that they may believe their thoughts and actions caused someone to die or that somehow, they can make the person come back. Answering questions and giving age-appropriate information is key to supporting children at this age.

Teenagers may become withdrawn and ‘act out’ their distress through behaviours. Keeping to the usual boundaries of acceptable behaviour can be reassuring for bereaved young people and give them a sense of security when everything else might feel out of control.

As well as changes in behaviour, some children may react physically with headaches, stomach aches, anxiety, sleep problems and appetite loss.

With support from family, most children will not need professional help. However, if you have any concerns, you may find it helpful to talk to your GP or to seek help from a bereavement group.

Explain what has happened

It’s important to tell your child that your baby has died as soon as possible in a safe, comfortable and familiar environment. If telling your child feels overwhelming for you, enlist someone close to you to help break the news. Don’t be afraid to tell your child that you’re feeling upset and finding it hard to talk. It’s best to be as open and honest as possible.

How much detail you choose to share depends on your child’s age and understanding.  Let your instincts guide you and if you’re not sure what to say, ask your child what they know so that you can gauge their level of understanding, allowing them to steer the conversation if they feel confident enough. They’re likely to have questions, so try to answer them as best you can, or they may fill the gaps with scary or anxious thoughts.

Child Bereavement UK has resources that can help you find the right words, including telling a child someone has died and a short guidance film.

Use simple language

Try to use simple language that is appropriate to your child’s age and understanding. Avoid using euphemisms such as ‘sleeping’ which can suggest your baby will wake, or ‘lost’ which suggests they can be found. Instead, use real words such as ‘dead’ and ‘died’.  Child Bereavement UK suggests saying the following to a young child if a baby is stillborn, for instance: ‘While still inside mummy’s tummy our baby died before they were born, which is very sad.’

Depending on how old your child is, you may have to explain what has happened repeatedly as their understanding develops. As they get older and their understanding grows, a child may revisit their grief and have additional questions and concerns.

Show your emotions

Don’t be afraid to show your emotions in front of your child. It’s natural to want to put a brave face on, but it’s important to show that crying is a normal reaction to grief. Reassure your child that you’re not crying because of them or something they’ve done.  By sharing your feelings with your child, you can demonstrate that it’s OK to show sadness. If you are open, your child will feel able to share their emotions too.

Encourage your child to grieve

Finding ways to remember their baby brother or sister is an important part of the grieving process. Encourage them to draw pictures, make a memory box or write a letter to their sibling. These small things can help them maintain a connection with their sibling and gives them a chance to say goodbye.  Child Bereavement UK’s animation, Remembering someone special who has died, suggests ways children and young people can remember someone important to them who has died.

A very young child, toddler, or even a baby can go to a funeral with the rest of the family. Although they may not understand what is happening at the time, when they are older, they will appreciate that they were a part of this important event along with everyone else. Ask someone close to your child to join you in case your child gets upset or becomes restless and wants to go out. It may be hard to have to deal with your own grief and theirs.

Child Bereavement UK has created two animations which can help you prepare a child for a funeral – Explaining funerals to children -what happens at a burial? and Explaining funerals to children- what happens at a cremation?

Maintain a routine

Children feel safe and comforted by following a routine. While your days may look slightly different, if possible, try to keep certain things the same – like a daily bath, a trip to the park or a bedtime story. Maintaining familiarity is reassuring for children – especially at a younger age. If you need to be away for any time, let your child know for how long and who will be looking after them.

Ask for help

Don’t be afraid to ask a loved one for help. For example, a grandparent or friend may be able to take your children to school, giving you some time and space to grieve and to try to find time to look after yourself.

There are also many charities and support groups that you can turn to. For example, Child Bereavement UK provides confidential support, information and guidance to individuals, families and professionals throughout the UK. The support team is available to respond to calls, Live Chat or email from 9am – 5pm, Monday to Friday (except bank holidays).  Call 0800 02 888 40 or email [email protected].  For Live Chat, click here.

Join us for our Baby Loss Service

Now in its 22nd year, Baby Loss Awareness Week is a wonderful opportunity to bring our community together and give everyone touched by the loss of a baby a safe and supportive space to share their experiences and feel they are not alone. Join us and other families for our special services at our Living Memorial Parks and light a candle in memory of all babies that have gone too soon. Please join us after the service for tea and cake. Everyone is welcome!

Services will be taking place in Chiltern, Epping and Kemnal Park. Book onto a service here.

Visit Child Bereavement UK’s website for more information and guidance on supporting a child or young person when a baby dies.