For many, Mother’s Day represents a day of celebrations. But if you’ve lost your mum or mother-figure, or you are a mother who has lost a child, it can be a day filled with grief and sadness. Even the simplest things can remind us of the loved ones we’ve lost, which is why it’s important to take care of yourself as Mother’s Day approaches. We’ve collected together some advice to help you cope with this difficult time while you’re grieving for a lost loved one.   

Don’t feel pressured 

Families often make plans to celebrate Mother’s Day. However, you don’t need to feel pressured to join in with them. Family and friends may invite you along to stop you from feeling left out, but they will understand if you don’t feel up to it. It’s OK to say no and it’s OK not to be OK.  Instead, do things that you feel are right for you – like being close to nature and having a walk, watching a film, making your favourite food or listening to music that brings you happy memories or distracting yourself with your favourite hobbies.  

Write down how you’re feeling 

If you struggle to articulate how you feel, you could write your feelings down in a letter or card. Grief isn’t always an easy thing to make sense of, but giving yourself a chance to think about how you feel can help you cope with your grief – particularly when it’s more heightened around Mother’s Day.  

Share your loved ones memory 

Sharing memories of your loved one with family and friends is a wonderful way to honour them on Mother’s Day. You could get together over a cup of tea or start an online chat if you don’t feel up to seeing people. If you’ve turned your mum’s social media accounts into an online memorial, you can share tributes on there, too. There are also many online communities that bring comfort by sharing supportive messages on grief and loss, like Grief Speaks Out. 

Hold a memorial service 

You may take solace from holding a memorial service for your loved one on Mother’s Day. The service doesn’t have to be anything big. Simply lighting a candle or planting a beautiful plant are great ways to remember that special person.  

Get support at our monthly GreenAcres Bereavement Cafés 

When you lose someone you love meeting others who can relate to how you feel can help. We offer a kind, supportive space with understanding from others who are also living life after loss.  

Often it is difficult to walk through the door to somewhere new especially when you are grieving. We promise you a warm welcome from our experienced and compassionate team along with tea, coffee and cake. For more information, click here.

Join us for our Mother’s Day Remembrance event 

We invite you to our Mother’s Day event on Sunday 30th March at your local GreenAcres Park – a time to honour cherished memories, reflect, and remember those who are no longer with us. You will also have the opportunity to light a candle and tie a memorial heart on our Remembrance Tree

Find out more about our Mother’s Day event here.  

Deciding what to do with your loved one’s ashes after cremation is a deeply personal choice. With cremations becoming increasingly popular in the UK, there are so many unique and wonderful ways in which you can honour your loved one.  

Nowadays, one in every 25 funerals arranged by Co-op are direct cremations. Yet, according to the Co-op’s Changing Face of Funerals report, one in ten (9%) of people who have arranged a cremation say that can’t decide what to do with their loved one’s ashes.  

We’ve pulled together some of the most popular ideas, along with some heart-warming stories from members of the GreenAcres team, to inspire you to find the perfect memorial. 

Have them crafted into jewellery 

Memorial jewellery can help you feel close to your loved one. Enabling you to carry them with you wherever you go. Whether you choose a ring, bracelet, pendant, cufflinks or brooch, the ashes can be imprinted directly onto the jewellery or a resin gem, providing comfort through every stage of your life.  

The multi-award winning Ashes Memorial Jewellery uses innovative technology to turn ashes into beautiful keepsake pieces. Similarly, EverWith Memorial Jewellery specialises in creating beautiful, bespoke keepsakes in memory of loved ones who have passed away. 

Scatter the ashes somewhere special 

Scattering a loved one’s ashes is one of the most common ways to say goodbye. 28% of people have them scattered at a crematorium, while 17% scatter them in a special landmark or beauty spot. 

Some of the most popular ideas include scattering the ashes at sea or somewhere that meant a lot to your loved one. You can also have the ashes scattered from a plane where they can roam free forever more.  

Many of our families have recently asked about Viking burials. While Viking burials are illegal in the UK, you can have ashes sent off to sea or on a lake in a Viking ship. 

One of our recently bereaved widows is planning on buying a casket for her husband’s ashes. It gets taken out to sea on the outgoing tide and gradually dissolves, dispersing without the need to go out in a boat. That way, wherever his children end up in the world, they only have to go to the sea to be near to their dad.  

Create a Living Memorial 

One of our favourite ways of memorialising a loved one is a living memorial. By interring (burying) their ashes in nature, you create a lasting tribute – a place of remembrance that grows and changes with the seasons.

Our Living Memorial options provide a serene space where treasured memories can bloom. They offer the opportunity to create new rituals, reflect, and find comfort in the beauty of nature, ensuring your loved one’s legacy lives on.

At GreenAcres Living Memorial Parks, we have many options for you to choose from, including: 

Tree Circle 

Set amidst natural beauty, a memorial within a Tree Circle serves as a heartfelt tribute to a life well lived. A Tree Circle offers a shared resting place, we have many beautiful Tree Circles available across our Parks, the picture above shows a Tree Circle in our woodland area in springtime, covered in a carpet of bluebells.  Tree Circles can be found in our serene woodlands, open meadows, tranquil lawns and lush orchards. Each plot within a Tree Circle accommodates burials, ashes, or a combination of both.

One of our families chose a Tree Circle in our wildflower meadow, a perfect spot for their loved one:

“We chose a plot within a tree circle in Heatherley Park for our mum’s ashes, nestled in the wildflower meadow. She loved the sunshine – we always called her “the lizard” – and this spot is bathed in sunlight for most of the day.

It’s the perfect place to bring our children, her beloved grandchildren, to share stories about her and remember her wonderful ways. It feels like a peaceful sanctuary in nature, surrounded by wildlife, wildflowers, and beautiful trees – a place as full of life as she was.”

Living Memorial Tree 

A living Memorial Tree is a natural memorial that will last for generations, dedicated exclusively to your family. Planted as a sapling (young tree) you will see them grow and flourish forevermore. An optional outdoor ceremony can also be held at the time of planting, adding a personal touch to this tribute. Living Memorial Trees are situated in our serene woodlands, open meadows, tranquil lawns and lush orchards. A Living Memorial Tree can accommodate ashes, burials, or a combination of both.

Living Memorial Bay 

Bordered by natural logs or neatly trimmed hedges, a Living Memorial Bay serves as a timeless tribute to love and remembrance. Each bay offers a unique and dedicated space for families to connect with their loved ones. Set amidst our peaceful woodlands and open meadows, each bay is thoughtfully designed to blend with the surroundings. Embraced by gentle greenery, a Living Memorial Bay is ideal for those seeking a private space. Suitable for ashes, burials, or a combination of both.

Find a unique spot that holds sentimental value 

When it comes to laying ashes to rest, nothing is off-limits. And every family’s story is unique. So much so, one of our families has chosen to keep in their knicker drawer! 

“My mum used to iron all the underwear in the house and wouldn’t allow us to leave without clean, freshly ironed underwear. I felt my knicker drawer was the best place to keep Mum until I can let go of her. It’s somewhat of a tradition.” 

You may have a place in the house that meant a lot to your loved one and reflects their life, allowing you to create a more personal tribute.  

Get a tattoo with the ashes in the ink 

A tattoo using your loved one’s ashes in the ink is a wonderful way to keep them close to you forever. It may provide you both a visual reminder and a physical connection to them. The process is the same as getting a normal tattoo; only a small portion of the ashes are mixed with traditional ink  

Only some of the ashes are used for the tattoo. So you still have the option to find the perfect resting place for your loved one with the remaining ashes. Creation Ink has a range of helpful blogs and advice if you’d like to learn more. 

Split the ashes 

If you’re struggling to know what to do with your loved one’s ashes, you can pick multiple options to honour their life. One of our families has chosen to split her father-in-law’s ashes across a few of his favourite locations. 

“My father-in-law was a keen fisherman, so half of his ashes are interred by the pond in GreenAcres, while the rest have been split into three – a paperweight containing a small amount of his ashes which is on my mother-in-law’s bookshelf, a miniature urn, which is in my brother-in-law’s fishing bag, and the rest in a floating water pillow placed in the river where he loved to go fishing!” 

Lay them to rest at GreenAcres  

Many families take great comfort from laying their loved ones’ ashes to rest at a GreenAcres Living Memorial Park. Whatever you’re looking for, there are several options to choose from to create a lasting and personal tribute to the person you love, a special place in nature you will want to visit time and time again.  

Talk to a member of our friendly and knowledgeable team to discuss all the available memorial options for ashes at our GreenAcres Living Memorial Parks.  

Even though we don’t often think about our death and what happens afterwards, more and more people are planning how and where they’d like to be remembered. If you’re thinking about planning your own funeral or want to find out more about the benefits of doing so, we’ve pulled together this handy blog on why pre-planning your funeral is a good thing to do.

1. You’ll be able to save yourself and your family money

Funerals – whether unexpected or not – are often a considerable expense to families. By pre-planning, you can relieve your loved ones from the burden of footing the bill during an already-difficult time. Plus, by thinking about things before the time comes, you can pay off your funeral over a longer period, allowing you to spread the cost into more manageable chunks. You also won’t need to worry about inflation making your funeral more expensive.

Some Funeral Directors offer payment plans that you can benefit from, so it’s well worth having a chat with yours (if you decide to use one) before you put down a deposit. You can find out more about funerals plans here.

2. You can have your funeral exactly as you want it

Your loved ones will no doubt honour you as best as they can, but unless you’ve spoken to them about your wishes beforehand, they might have some ideas of their own. By pre-planning your service, you can have it exactly as you want it. Whether you have a particular theme in mind or want your guests to wear a certain colour, you can set out what you want before the funeral, giving yourself the send-off you deserve.

3. You’ll have time to make important decisions

Pre-planning your funeral means you can slow down and take some time to think about what you actually want. When loved ones are left to plan a funeral, the finer details are often overlooked due to it being a highly emotional time. Some people also struggle to know what to do under pressure.

Instead of hasty decision-making, you’ll have the opportunity to shop around, find companies that meet your values and plan your funeral at a pace that suits you.

4. You’ll save your loved ones from unnecessary stress

Planning a funeral isn’t easy – especially during the early stages of grief. By getting your affairs in order before you die, you can ease your family’s stress by taking away the burden of funeral planning. You may also take some comfort in knowing everything is taken care of before the time comes.

5. You can relieve your loved ones of making complex decisions

If you’re religious, have spiritual beliefs or want a particular kind of service, pre-planning means you can take care of the trickier elements of funeral planning. It’s not uncommon for friends and family members to make mistakes when they’re grieving. Choosing what you want and how you want it removes the risk of oversights, giving you peace of mind that your wishes are taken care of.

To find out more about pre-planning your funeral, such as what to think about, take a look at our step-by-step pre-planning guide. If you’d like to plan ahead, pre-purchased plots can now be acquired with a GreenAcres instalment plan. Simply secure the space you want at today’s prices and pay it back over 10 months with no added interest. For more information, please speak to a member of the team at your local Park.

 

 

Where to go for support and guidance

Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate the special bond between a mother and her children. It’s also a day to recognise and honour the motherly figures in our lives. But for those who have lost a child, it’s a day of great sadness and grief – one that will undoubtedly trigger painful memories.

Even though losing a baby or child is one of the most difficult and emotional experiences anyone will ever have to go through, we don’t tend to talk about how this special day affects bereaved mothers. This is why Mother’s Day can make the loss of a child feel even more unbearable than any other day of the year.

We understand how overwhelming the pain of Mother’s Day can be. This blog will guide you through these emotions and offer guidance on where to seek support.

Surround yourself with loved ones

Mother’s Day is bound to be tougher than any other day of the year. But surrounding yourself with friends and family and reflecting on precious memories can help turn your thoughts of grief and sadness into comfort.

Going for a walk together can really help turn your feelings of grief into hope. Connecting with nature is proven to help people with grief – after all, nature’s a healer. Find a beautiful spot to explore and try to turn your attention to all the natural wonders you see. If you need to walk in silence for a while, that’s okay. Your loved ones will understand.

 

Connecting with nature is proven to help people with grief.

You might also find comfort in telling stories of your child, taking some time to remember the good times you shared. Having permission to show your emotions and speak about your loss is healthy, so don’t feel shy in asking your friends and family if you can talk about how you’re feeling.

Keep busy

If you’re someone who likes to keep themselves busy, make specific plans for Mother’s Day and stick to them. Whether you choose to honour your child or spend the day being as ‘normal’ as possible, planning ahead keeps you in control, allowing you to spend Mother’s Day in the way that’s right for you and your family.

Look after yourself

You might prefer to be by yourself this Mother’s Day – and that’s okay. Just remember to be as kind to yourself as possible. Pour yourself a hot bath, watch your favourite TV programme, or go for a run to clear your head. Do whatever makes you happy – and don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first.

Visit your child’s grave or memorial

You may take comfort from visiting your child’s grave or memorial on Mother’s Day. This is a deeply personal choice, but many grieving mothers find that vising their loved one’s resting spot provides the peace and quiet they need to reflect on precious memories.

 

Seek support from The Good Grief Trust

If you feel like you’re struggling in the run-up to Mother’s Day, there’s no shame in asking for help. We’ve partnered with The Good Grief Trust – a charity run for the bereaved, by the bereaved – to provide guidance and support when you need it the most.

You might find comfort from the many video stories and articles available online from other families who have lost a child, as well as initiatives from professionals who support them. Be sure to a look at the website to see what additional support The Good Grief Trust can offer you and your family during this difficult time. Remember, you’re not alone in your grief.

Join us at our pop-up bereavement cafés

As part of our partnership with The Good Grief Trust, we co-host monthly coffee mornings called The Good Grief Cafés at our Parks. Our cafés are run by The Good Grief Trust volunteers who have all been bereaved themselves, alongside a trained team of GreenAcres employees. You’re more than welcome to drop in, so come and join us and the brilliant café hosts for a chat and a cup of tea.

What’s on at GreenAcres this March?

There are plenty of things going on at GreenAcres throughout March that you can get involved in. If you’d like more information about any of our initiatives, please do get in touch with us at [email protected].

Join us on the Walk in Her Name Step Challenge

We’ll once again be supporting the Ovarian Cancer Action: Walk in Her Name Step Challenge, taking a step for every incredible woman dealing with ovarian cancer.

The Step Challenge is a virtual challenge taking place throughout March where you complete 295,000 steps – one for every mum, partner, grandma, sister, daughter, auntie and friend diagnosed with ovarian cancer globally each year. Simply record your progress on your online fundraising page, get sponsored, and raise funds to help fund the next generation of ovarian cancer research.

Last year, the GreenAcres team joined in with the challenge, raising an amazing £5,500 for the charity. We hope to smash that this year – and we’d love to have you on board to make this goal a reality. Together, we can make ovarian cancer a survivable disease.

Sign up for the challenge.

Come and join us this Mother’s Day

You’re welcome to join us in your nearest GreenAcres Park this Mother’s Day for our special service in honour of all the important women in our lives. Spend precious time together as a family to celebrate and remember the things you loved about your mum in a peaceful, quiet and reflective setting.

We’d also love you to join us after the service for tea and cake in our Good Grief Café. Here you’ll have the opportunity to chat with like-minded people suffering with loss and bereavement. Speaking about those we’ve lost is so important for our health and wellbeing, so we hope you’ll join us when the time feels right.

Everyone is welcome! Book onto a Mother’s Day service today to guarantee your entry.

This blog offers a step-by-step guide to organising a cremation and cremation service.

There are many reasons why people are opting for cremation – the higher cost of burial is probably one of these. However, respect for, and the honouring of, the religious belief of their loved one is another important consideration. Members of some faith groups choose burial because that aligns with their faith (Jews and followers of Islam are examples). Others look to cremation – particularly Hindus and Sikhs, as well as those Buddhists who choose to follow the example of the Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama).

Another factor is that cremation offers families many more options to memorialise their loved one, so what follows can become a deeply personal experience. For some people, the act of scattering ashes, for example, gives them a sense that their loved one is all around them or looking down and continuing to admire the place chosen for them. Or they might choose to place the ashes in a beautiful urn at home.

Not all crematoria and cemeteries allow ash scattering. However, scattering is possible in designated areas at any GreenAcres Park. Generally though, there is nothing in UK law to stop you scattering ashes in a place that was special to your loved one, or over water (including rivers), but you do need the landowner’s permission. And if you’re planning to scatter ashes on ‘controlled waters’ you should consult the Environment Agency’s recommendations. But, before any cremation, there are some legal steps to follow:

The four legal steps


Step 1 is only likely to involve you, a family member or a friend/neighbour if your loved one has died at home. In a hospital or care home, Step 1 will be carried out by staff so you won’t need to get involved.


Step 1 – Verification of death


Verification of death is the process of identifying that a person has died. It has nothing to do with providing a death certificate or identifying the cause of death.
English Law allows any competent adult, either independently or with remote support from a doctor, to verify that someone has died. It doesn’t need to be done by a doctor.

The British Medical Association (BMA) and the Royal College of Physicians (RCP) have produced a collaborative process (protocol) that can be followed by anyone present to verify death if they feel able to do so.

If you find yourself having to verify a death, either call your GP who will support you over the phone, or follow the guidelines in the protocol above.


Step 2 – Certification of death

After a death has been verified, a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) must be completed and submitted to the local registrar of births, marriages and deaths by a (GMC registered and licensed) doctor. You don’t need to be involved in this step, and there’s nothing to pay.

If the doctor cannot offer a likely cause of death, the case must be submitted to the coroner to establish a cause of death.

Now, because of Covid-19 and the Coronavirus Act 2020, for a doctor to complete an MCCD without referral to the coroner, they must have seen (including via video link) the patient in the 28 days before death, or in person after death. If these conditions are met, the MCCD will be completed by the doctor and sent (by email) to the registrar who will record the death and complete the paperwork to allow burial or cremation.


Step 3 – Registration of death


The person registering the death is formally known as ‘the informant’. Only relatives or specific individuals are qualified by law to register a death. Other people include:

The informant must register the death within five days in England, Wales or Northern Ireland and within eight days in Scotland.

However, if there’s a Coroner’s inquest (Procurator Fiscal in Scotland), registration is delayed until the inquest has been completed.
Depending on which country the deceased person lived in, the informant must register the death:

Step 4 – Cremation certificate

The Coronavirus Act 2020 changed the requirements of the cremation process. During the COVID-19 emergency, Form Cremation 4 is now the only form that needs to be completed. This form must be completed by a registered doctor and sent to the relevant crematorium. (The standard requirement for sending form Cremation 5 as well has been suspended.) Cremation 4 will then be checked by the crematorium medical referee to ensure it complies with guidance. Referees have the right (and a duty) to raise questions to ensure the safety of the system. When you have completed the formalities, and the death has been registered, you can then think about the cremation and cremation service.

You may also find the Tell Us Once service available through GOV.UK particularly useful. It lets you report a death to most government organisations in one go. In Northern Ireland, you’ll need to visit Who to tell about a death.

If you would prefer to use a Funeral Director, then the Good Funeral Guide is an excellent place to start your search. We also have a list of Funeral Directors we work with on a regular basis here.

Options for a cremation service

After the cremation, you might be thinking about how you’ll mark the place where your loved one’s ashes have been scattered or buried. At GreenAcres, our Parks are open to anyone of any faith or none looking for the perfect place to remember and reflect on the life of a loved one. To speak to a member of our friendly team please call 0203 745 8325 or send an email to [email protected] or contact us here.

 

With more and more of us developing an awareness of our environmental impact, living life consciously is becoming the norm. Many of us are careful to reduce waste, our use of plastic and our carbon footprint, but did you know that we can make our funerals less harmful to the environment, too? 

Sustainability is incredibly important to us at GreenAcres Living Memorial Parks. Now that eco-friendly funerals are more popular than ever, we want to talk you through what we’re doing to offer you and your family more choice while making our Parks greener, more sustainable and kinder to the environment.  

What are eco burials?  

Eco-friendly burials have less impact on the environment than traditional burials and offer a more natural setting for memorial services. Green burials – or natural burials as they’re also known – go one step further, having as little impact on the environment as possible.  

Eco burials prioritise natural, biodegradable materials – like UK-produced cardboard coffins and simple shrouds – over materials that have a detrimental effect on the earth. Those having eco burials recognise that fewer vehicles and minimal travelling means fewer emissions. They choose coffins and eco-friendly decorations that haven’t travelled from overseas to keep their carbon footprint to a minimum, too.  

When planning a funeral, be sure to ask your Funeral Director about the green credentials of your choices before you commit.  

Eco-friendly burials at GreenAcres 

We have six tranquil Parks, each with a unique and enchanting atmosphere. Set amidst acres of woodland and carefully maintained grounds, each one provides a beautiful setting for your final resting place, with many opportunities to represent the way you wish to be remembered for years to come.  

When it comes to your funeral, we believe that everyone should have a choice about how they’re buried and be armed with the information to make the right decision. That’s exactly what we aim to provide. We also want to be kind to the environment, which is why we’re continuing to reduce and neutralise emissions to achieve net zero across our entire business.  

We’re still on a journey, but the smallest steps can still make a difference. 

How to make a cremation kinder to the planet 

While cremations are a popular choice, they use large amounts of energy and produce lots of excess CO². For that reason, cremations are not considered as green as eco burials.  

However, seeing as 78% of people are cremated in the UK, it’s important that we use eco-friendly cremation methods wherever possible. At GreenAcres, we have no cremators on site and instead work with partners in our local area to make use of unused capacity. This is kinder to the environment, as it means we’re not firing up and running another gas machine that would also not be running at full capacity.   

Electric cremators are being more widely used across the UK, too. Electric cremators produce fewer carbon emissions than gas cremators, making them a little more energy-efficient. At GreenAcres, we use electric cremators wherever possible to help minimise our environmental impact during cremations as much as we can.  

Ways to have a sustainable burial 

If you want to minimise the impact your burial will have on the environment, think about the following things when planning your own or a loved one’s funeral: 

Choose a natural coffin 

The choice of coffin is a very personal one. Eco coffins made from cardboard, willow, local wicker and UK solid wood are considered better for the environment and are acceptable at all of our Parks. Many people also opt for a simple shroud made from natural fabric that won’t harm the environment. We accommodate shroud burials at our Parks, which avoids some of the issues associated with certain coffin materials.  

Our eco and conservation policies mean metal caskets or zinc-lined coffins cannot be interred (placed in a grave) or used for a cremation service. 

Don’t embalm the body if not necessary 

Choosing not to embalm a person is kinder to the environment. Formaldehyde and other chemicals used for embalming can leak into the soil after a burial, impacting the land around it. If you don’t need to delay a funeral, you may want to skip the embalming process to make the burial as natural as possible.  

That being said, at GreenAcres, we believe that people should have a choice. We understand that embalming is important for some families, so we don’t refuse bodies that have been embalmed.  

Have a woodland burial 

A woodland burial is a more natural alternative to a traditional burial or cremation. Whether you’re planning a full burial service or a graveside or committal service, you can arrange a woodland burial at each one of our Parks. 

Our tranquil and beautiful Parks are the perfect place for you to say your goodbyes and reflect on precious memories with your loved ones time and time again. Our families take great comfort from knowing that this landscape will be sustained, enhanced and preserved for future generations – making GreenAcres the perfect place to rest and visit for years to come.  

Minimise travel by car sharing  

You can use our facilities and the surrounding meadow and woodland in many ways. This includes holding a smaller service at the burial site to minimise travel between venues. You could also encourage mourners to car share to the venue, travelling in as few vehicles to the burial site as possible. This will help keep emissions to a minimum. 

Plant a tree in memory instead of using a headstone 

Instead of using an imported headstone, you can add to the natural landscape by planting a memorial tree. Available at GreenAcres, a Living Memorial Tree will last for generations and serves as a living legacy to your loved one. The first set of ashes are scattered with a sapling tree. Once they’re interred beneath the root-ball, ashes from other loved ones within the family can be added around the tree as it grows to be a big and magnificent tribute.  

In some Parks we are also able to offer a dedicated standard Rose Bush. This provides the perfect opportunity for family ashes to be interred close to the roots in a biodegradable urn, where they can live on through the beautiful roses.  

If you’d prefer a headstone, why not opt for a wooden memorial? 87% of our memorials are wooden, and five of our Parks have no imported granite or marble, making wood a kinder option for nature. We also offer local UK stone, if that’s what you’d prefer.  

Whatever your wishes, we are here to work with you and your Funeral Director to give you a personalised service and the support you need to plan an eco-burial. Get in touch with us to find out more.