Gone are the days when funerals meant mourners wore dark colours, sang hymns and were led by a religious official in a place of worship. Today, funerals are becoming a more personal affair, with the deceased having a much bigger say in what they want to happen at their funeral before they die.  

Tradition isn’t for everyone. Whether you’re planning your own funeral or organising a ceremony for someone you love, here are some ways you can make it more personal to reflect the life that was lived.  

Ask mourners to wear bright colours 

One of the most common ways to personalise a funeral is to ask mourners to wear bright colours. Bright colours are typically seen as a celebration of life, bringing comfort to those who are mourning and feeling anxious about the ceremony. 

According to a study by YouGov in 2016, only 22% of people see black funeral attire as a requirement at funerals, with a further 29% believing any colour is acceptable. You may want to specify a specific shade – perhaps your loved one’s favourite colour. Or you could even suggest that mourners wear the colours of the football team your loved one supported in life. Sometimes ‘anything but black’ is enough of a steer to help people decide what to wear.  

One of our Park Managers shared this heart-warming story with us about one of the funerals held in their Park: 

“One that sticks out for me at Chiltern is a lady who had a service and burial. She was super flamboyant and extremely colourful in all aspects of her life – from how she dressed to the colour of her hair. All the guests were dressed in many different colours. Her daughter also wanted to do something special and found a beautiful multi-coloured horse and carriage to take her mum to her final resting place. It was such a beautiful service, and it was an honour to help the family.” 

Choose a unique coffin  

You can make a coffin as unique as you’d like it to be. From bright colours and bespoke themes to prints and sporting crests, there’s no end to the options available to you.  

There are picture coffins to consider, too. These are coffins adorned with a particular picture that takes inspiration from the deceased’s favourite places, hobbies, or sports. You can even have their favourite photograph printed onto the coffin, serving as a celebration of their life long after they’re gone.  

Create a unique floral display 

Celebrate your loved one’s passions by creating a unique floral display. You could create an open book floral arrangement as a tribute to a bookworm, or have the flowers arranged as an instrument to celebrate a musician. If your loved one was a keen gardener, why not include their favourite flowers and plants from their own garden?  

No idea is too difficult for the right florist. Talk to a local funeral florist about your ideas, and they’ll find a way to bring them to life.  

Have a civil ceremony led by a celebrant or humanist 

Funerals led by a celebrant or humanist are now very popular. Humanist ceremonies tend to be non-religious, which is one of the main reasons why people choose to have one. Civil celebrants tailor the service entirely to the deceased’s wishes, allowing them to have as much or as little religious content as they like. Both types of ceremony can be spiritual and are fully flexible to represent the life you or your loved one lived.  

Use alternative transport to a hearse 

A traditional hearse is most widely used to carry a coffin to a funeral, but there are several companies in the UK – like Morton’s Funeral Hire , TCribb and Bennetts Funeral Directors – that specialise in transforming unique modes of transport into hearses with enough space to hold a coffin. Instead of a classic hearse, you could choose a: 

You could even choose a traditional horse-drawn glass hearse, giving your loved one the magical send-off they deserve. Speak to your local funeral director to discuss your requirements in detail and see what’s possible.

Add personal finishing touches 

Here are some finishing touches you might want to consider to make a funeral more personal:  

You could also decorate the Service Hall with things special to your loved one – like this family did at one of our Parks: 

“We had a burial service for a lady in her 90s who was well known in Grayshott village for cycling around on her tricycle and being very active in the area. She was also a great quilter, and her family brought all her quilts and bunting which we used to decorate the hall. Her famous tricycle also played a part! Her service was a wonderful celebration of her life and the family were very pleased that it was so personal and special.” 

If you’d like to arrange a more personal funeral for yourself or a loved one, speak to a friendly and knowledgeable member of the GreenAcres team and we’ll do everything we can to accommodate your wishes.  

Children deal with loss in many different ways. Particularly since the death of Her Majesty the Queen and the war in Ukraine, children of all ages have been asking more questions about bereavement and what happens after someone dies.

Though it’s natural to worry about saying the wrong thing, speaking to children about their thoughts and feelings after the death of a loved one is an important thing to do. After all, they’re just as affected by death as we are. Plus, children’s imaginations run wild, causing unwarranted stress and fear.

You may not know where to begin – and that’s okay. This blog will help you navigate the process and show you how to talk to children about grief.

Be honest about what has happened

The first – and arguably most important – step is to explain what happened honestly and clearly. Use plain language the children can understand. For example, it’s better to say, ‘someone has died’ rather than ‘passed away’ or ‘gone to sleep’. The latter will only confuse them.

Depending on the children’s age, creating stories to help them relate to the situation may help. During this time, let them ask as many questions as they need. It’s important that you answer truthfully, but try not to overburden them with information. Giving short, to-the-point answers will help them process what’s happened.

Remember, the conversation about death is an ongoing one. Try to be as willing as possible to answer questions when they have them. Children ask questions at the most random times, but accommodate them as best you can.

Offer reassurance

After experiencing a death, children often worry about their friends and family dying. While you can’t make promises about the future, you can reassure them that they’re loved and will always have someone to care for them should the worst happen.

It’s best not to go into too much detail about this. As we’ve mentioned, children’s imaginations often get the better of them, so be careful not to put scary ideas into their heads. Instead, shower the children with love and affection and spend time doing fun things with them – like painting and baking – to take their minds off their worries.

Don’t hide your feelings

Children are incredibly observant and will pick up on your feelings, even if you’re careful not to show them. Instead of hiding that you’re sad, let them see your emotions. That way, they’ll feel like they can openly share theirs without feeling suppressed. They’ll also develop a healthy relationship with death moving forward.

Give your child space to play

While talking about death is good for a child’s development, it can be an intense and upsetting experience. Children need their own space to partake in normal activities – either alone or with friends. Grief affects children differently, so don’t be alarmed if yours act like nothing’s happened. Your child’s grieving, even if it doesn’t seem like it.

Help them express their grief

Not all children like to talk about their feelings. Some find drawing or writing about how they feel more cathartic. If your child is finding it hard to talk about death, encourage them to express their grief creatively instead.

They might want to write a poem or letter to the person who’s died. Or they may prefer to paint or draw a tribute to a loved one. Creating a memory box can also help children express grief. Fill it with pictures, letters, stories and anything that reminds them of the person who’s passed away.

Worry Monsters can also help. These soft plushie toys are designed to help children express their worries. Ask your child to write a note or draw a picture of their worry and place it into the monster’s mouth. When they’re asleep, remove the note and in the morning, your child will notice that the monster’s eaten their worries. This should enable them to manage intrusive thoughts about death.

          

Let them get involved with the funeral

There are no set rules about children attending funerals. It’s up to each family to decide what’s best. However, if your child expresses a wish to go to the funeral or memorial service, you might want to consider letting them.

Funerals signify finality, which can help your child process the loss. Younger children may not understand what’s happening, but older children may take comfort from saying their goodbyes surrounded by their friends and family.

Remember, you’re not alone  

You never have to do any of this alone. At GreenAcres, we’re here to offer you all the support you need. Join us at one of our monthly Bereavement Groups or remembrance events to meet others who can relate to how you feel over a cup of tea and slice of cake. We promise you a warm welcome and friendly ear whenever you need it.

Hope Again is another excellent resource where young people can learn how to cope with grief and feel less alone. There’s lots of useful information, including personal stories, grieving guides and help for parents and guardians. Similarly, Child Bereavement UK offers an abundance of resources to help parents, guardians and carers support bereaved children and young people.

You can also head over to our blog for more resources on how to deal with loss – including what to do with ashes and what to do to a person’s social media account when they die.

 

When a loved one dies, there are many things to think about – like notifying friends and family, arranging the funeral and deciding what to do with the deceased’s ashes. However, one thing that’s less commonly considered is what happens to a person’s social media account when they die.

We understand that dealing with someone else’s social accounts can be overwhelming. It’s also unlikely to be at the top of your agenda. So this blog will explain your options and guide you through the process in simple steps. 

What happens to social media accounts after a death? 

After someone close to you dies, there are three main options available to you. Before you decide, check to see if your loved one left any specific instructions about what to do with their social media accounts. Otherwise, you can take action in one of these three ways:  

Delete their social media accounts

If you’re worried about your loved one’s accounts being hacked or don’t want people to be able to interact with them, you can delete them. Doing so will permanently remove photos, videos and information stored about them on social media.  

Deactivation is permanent, so be sure to save anything you want to keep before you proceed. It’s also wise to talk to family and friends before you do anything. They will need time to raise concerns, come to terms with your decision, or save any content they wish to keep.  

To close someone’s account , you’ll need:  

You may also be asked for further proof, but each social media platform will advise you of what they require to carry out an account deactivation before they begin the process. 

Turn their social media accounts into an online memorial 

For some, deleting a loved one’s social media accounts feels too final. Instead of removing their digital presence, you may prefer to turn their accounts into an online memorial for friends and family to remember them by.  

Doing this keeps their photos and videos intact. But it changes how the accounts work by preventing people from interacting with them. A memorialised profile also makes it clear to visitors that the person behind the profile has passed away. 

You may find that turning their accounts into an online memorial is a good way to help you and other friends and family grieve – at least in the immediate aftermath of a loved one’s death. You can always delete the accounts later on if leaving them online becomes too painful. 

You’ll need to bear in mind that the leading social media providers, including Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, handle memorial pages differently, and not all offer the option to memorialise them. Look at their help pages for in-depth help and information. 

Here are some helpful links to point you in the right direction: 

Contact Facebook and fill out the request to memorialise form.  

Contact Instagram to request to memorialise a deceased person’s account.  

Leave their social media as it is 

You don’t have to delete or memorialise your loved one’s social media accounts if you don’t want to. Instead, you can leave them as they are. Some people find comfort from interacting with the account and seeing it pop up on the feed every now and then.  

However, this isn’t for everyone. By leaving the accounts alone, automated features – such as birthday notifications and memories – will appear on their connected friends’ feeds. This can be upsetting to see, especially if the notifications appear unexpectedly or without warning. 

You may want to make people aware of the passing by tagging the deceased in a social media post. That way, friends and followers can hide the account if it’s too painful for them to see it.  

Get support with Life Ledger 

You don’t have to deal with any of this alone. Life Ledger’s free, easy-to-use service helps simplify the death notification process by contacting all businesses (including social media) connected to the deceased. You can keep track of the progress and upload any required documents from a single place, saving you hours of time and removing the need to have the same difficult conversations over and over.  

If you need support, contact our friendly and knowledgeable team for help and guidance through this tough time. 

Writing a eulogy is a traditional way to say goodbye when a loved one dies. Also known as a funeral speech, a eulogy is given at a funeral or memorial service by someone who was close to the deceased to commemorate their life. This could be a child, best friend, mother or father.

There are no rules to what you can and can’t say in a funeral speech. A eulogy is unique to the person it’s written about, but writing one can leave those grieving feeling lost for words. We have some advice on how to make writing a funeral speech feel less daunting for those who want to remember and honour their loved one’s life.

funeral forest

Decide on the tone of your funeral speech

Traditional eulogies are personal, meaningful and heartfelt. They vary in tone, but they tend to be conversational to ensure that everyone attending the funeral or memorial service can understand and relate to the words being said.

Whether you choose to adopt an uplifting tone with a bit of light humour or prefer to keep the eulogy sombre and serious is entirely up to you. It also depends on the relationship you shared with the deceased.

When writing your eulogy, remember to keep in mind your audience. The last thing you’d want to do is offend or upset the mourners attending the funeral with an unsuitable tone.

Ask family and friends for their memories

Before you sit down to write your eulogy, ask family and friends of the deceased for their recollections. This will bring comfort to them during the funeral and may jog some memories they had long forgotten about, too. Brainstorming with loved ones will also give you an idea of which memories to focus on throughout your speech.

What to include in a eulogy

Perhaps one of the hardest things about writing a funeral speech is knowing what to include about your loved one’s life. While this will vary from person to person depending on their history, it’s traditional to focus on their achievements alongside a brief timeline of their life. To help get you started, you might like to talk about:

Introduce yourself

Before writing the main bulk of the eulogy, remember to introduce yourself. Not all mourners at the funeral will know who you are, so offer a couple of lines of context about who the deceased was to you. This will help provide background for the rest of the eulogy.

Thank people for attending

To help soothe your nerves and ease your way into the eulogy, thank everyone for taking the time out of their day to come to the funeral service. You can also use this section to express your heartfelt condolences before you start reading the rest of the eulogy. This may be the hardest part of the funeral speech, so remember to bring tissues to the front of the room with you in case you need them.

Share memories of the deceased

Many people like to dedicate the main bulk of their eulogy to sharing fond memories of the deceased. You can make your speech as personal as you’d like it to be, but focusing on stories about the deceased and the qualities that made them special is a fitting way to say goodbye. Funerals don’t have to be sombre – they can be a celebration of life, so try to maintain a positive tone throughout this section to help lift the spirits of those in attendance.

memorial

Close the eulogy with comforting words

When closing the eulogy, say your final goodbye and finish by offering some words of comfort to the other mourners. You may want to end with your loved one’s favourite poem, quote or saying. Then, conclude your speech with a final goodbye.

Keep your speech short and sweet

Try to keep your eulogy around 3-5 minutes long. This is the perfect length to keep the audience’s attention while allowing enough time to delve into detail about the deceased’s life. Speak to the person organising the funeral about how long you have and time yourself to ensure you stick to the time limit.

If you need advice about funeral planning or a friendly ear to talk to, we’re here for you. Nothing is too much trouble, so come and speak to our friendly and knowledgeable team for more information.

funeral planning

It may seem strange to be thinking about your own death and what happens afterwards. But planning how – and where – you’d like to be remembered is part of your legacy. When the time comes, it will give your family peace of mind to know they’re carrying out your wishes. 

There are several components to end-of-life planning, some of which may help you and those close to you prepare. To help make this daunting task feel a little easier, we’ve got some tips on how to get things in order before it’s too late.  

Why plan ahead?  

Getting advice about later life planning is important, as it can help make things feel much easier later down the line. Planning ahead can also take the pressure off your family and significantly reduce the cost of your funeral.  

We understand that planning for your death ahead of time can feel overwhelming. If you need additional support, Life Ledger offers a free, easy-to-use service that allows families to notify every business connected to the deceased from a single place. Life Ledger can help individuals and families before they experience a bereavement with simple and easy end-of-life planning.  

Here are the other main things you should think about before dipping your toe into funeral planning. 

Ensure you have an up-to-date will 

Having an up-to-date will written by a solicitor is vital in ensuring your wishes are respected and followed. A legitimate will also free your family from the burden of difficult decisions and legal complications.  

If you don’t yet have one or are unsure of where to start, March is Free Wills Month. Supported by a group of well-respected charities, Free Wills Month offers anyone aged 55 and over the opportunity to have a simple will written or updated free of charge by participating solicitors across England, Scotland, and Wales.   

To get involved, simply enter your details on the Free Wills Month website to find participating solicitors near you.  

Appoint an individual with durable power of attorney

A durable power of attorney is an important legal document that gives another person the right to make decisions about your finances, health and welfare should you become incapacitated. Choosing someone you trust, such as a friend or loved one, negates the need for costly and stressful court action should the worst happen. This is especially important if you’re unwell or suffering from a long-term or terminal illness.  

If you need help in coping with a terminal illness, Hospice UK’s Dying Matters Campaign is committed to creating an open culture in which we’re comfortable about talking death, dying and bereavement. Visit the website for helpful resources and more information about how the charity can support you. 

Specify preferences for your funeral, burial, or cremation

Everyone deserves to have their wishes met when the time comes. Regardless of your spiritual or religious beliefs, choosing whether you’d like a funeral, burial or cremation is a big decision to make. However, thinking about it as early as possible helps take the stress away from your loved ones during a difficult time. Ultimately, the decision is up to you, but talking through your options with your loved ones will make the choice much easier. 

burial planning

We understand that this step can be the hardest of all. That’s why our friendly team of experts are here to help at every step, empowering you to make the right choices. 

Select a resting place

Most of us believe that a final resting place is all about the deceased. It’s easy to ignore what will happen after you die – and many of us don’t consider how difficult the decisions are for the loved ones left behind. But choosing your final resting place before the time comes can bring you and your family a sense of peace before you pass.  

When thinking about where you’d like your final resting place to be, GreenAcres is not only a place where your loved ones can reflect on your life, but a beautiful location to meet, go for a walk, and make connections that can last a lifetime.  

resting place after death

You can choose where you want to rest from a variety of settings, from peaceful sustainably managed woodlands and stunning wildflower meadows to relaxing, well-cared-for parkland. 

Consider the environmental impact of your funeral

Whatever your wishes, you may want to consider having a sustainable funeral to minimise your impact on the environment. At GreenAcres, we take care to maintain our Parks so that your loved ones can enjoy them for years to come. 

We’ve also implemented a range of eco and conservation policies to protect the landscape (such as plastic free). Additionally, we encourage the use of natural coffin materials, such as bamboo, cardboard, willow and banana leaf, wherever possible. You can even choose to have no coffin at all! 

Explore themes, music, colours that you may wish your life to be celebrated 

A funeral or memorial service is a unique way to celebrate the life you lived. While traditional funeral etiquette suggests that mourners should wear black, you might want to choose more vibrant colours instead to more accurately represent your life. You may also wish to select a theme that reflects your hobbies, interests, or culture.  

Talk to your loved ones about your wishes, as they can help you plan the perfect send-off. They can also offer ideas that you may not have considered before. In fact, many families tell us that the conversation they’d been dreading turned into laughter and smiles. 

Co-op Funeralcare has pulled together a list of the nation’s most popular farewell songs – and the top five may surprise you! Take a look to see if your favourite’s on the list. 

Top of the (funeral) Pops include: 

1 You’ll Never Walk Alone Gerry and The Pacemakers
2 My Way Frank Sinatra
3 Always Look On The Bright Side of Life Eric Idle
4 Simply The Best Tina Turner
5 Supermarket Flowers Ed Sheeran

 

We’re here to help you every step of the way. Come and speak to our knowledgeable team to learn more about the options available to you for planning for the future. You may also benefit from attending one of our Later Life Planning Seminars run at many of our Parks throughout the year. See our website for more information.  

 

Thanks for the memory
Of Schubert’s Serenade
Little things of jade
And traffic jams
And anagrams
And bills we never paid…
(From ‘Thanks for the memory’. Lyrics by Leo Robin)

 

The first memorial most of us create to someone we have loved is a funeral service. This gives us an opportunity to share memories, as well as photos, and to talk about the person who has died. However, it can be difficult to plan this, often at short notice, so it does justice to the memory of a loved one in the time allowed. Some venues offer more flexible options, for example, longer services to accommodate your requirements.

Recent Covid-19 restrictions, that limit the number of mourners who can attend a funeral, have made it more challenging at some venues to plan the funeral or memorial service you wanted. Venues such as GreenAcres parks can incorporate live-streaming or recording of services so you can share them with many more people.

Of course, there are other ways – both traditional and less conventional – to remember your loved one and celebrate their life. You don’t need to involve a funeral director if you’re organising a memorial service after a burial or cremation, or to commemorate the life of the person you loved in the way you wish. This can normally be arranged directly with the venue.

While many people choose to arrange for a traditional, permanent memorial, such as a headstone or mausoleum, others choose to scatter their loved one’s ashes in a place the person enjoyed visiting, perhaps a special spot in the countryside or at sea.

Living memorials


With increasing awareness of our impact on the environment, living memorials such as planting a native tree offer a ‘greener’ way to commemorate a loved one, as well as providing habitats for a range of wildlife. Parks, such as GreenAcres, have a range of native trees selected by the Grounds Team that a family can choose from. Or you can plant a biodegradable urn that, along with the surrounding soil, nurtures a tree or wildflowers with your loved one’s ashes.

Woodland memorials


Within burial parks and woodland cemeteries, like GreenAcres, you have the option of creating a memorial that’s also a natural habitat for birds, bees, owls, butterflies or bats. And at GreenAcres Parks, you can choose to commemorate your loved one in beautiful surroundings, regardless of whether or not they have been laid to rest at one of our parks.

It’s traditional for graves in natural environments to be marked with a simple oak plaque, with an inscription of your choice. You can also place a memorial bench or other memorial in some burial parklands, along with an engraved plaque to your loved one.

Personal keepsakes


Personal keepsakes are designed to hold a small quantity of ashes. The wonderful thing about them is they can provide the opportunity for every member of the family to retain a treasured memory of their own should they so wish.

Keeping your loved one close


Some people achieve a feeling of having their loved one close to them by keeping some ashes in a cuddly toy. And there’s an increasingly popular trend, mixing ashes with body ink to create a permanent tattoo, to keep someone you love permanently close to your body. Ashes can also be incorporated into memorial jewellery or ornaments, a popular way of feeling near to someone you have lost.

Reaching for the skies


Families are increasingly looking for more original and personalised ways to remember someone, such as scattering their ashes during a tandem skydive, creating a vinyl record that contains compressed ashes, or saying goodbye via a professional memorial firework containing cremated ashes.

Burying ashes at home


Some people bury all or some of the ashes in their garden, although it’s worth considering what might happen if you move to a new home in the future, which might make it difficult to visit your loved one’s resting place.

Planning your own memorial


While it might seem strange to consider how you’d like to be remembered after your death, planning ahead can give you peace of mind. It can also help your family at a difficult time, by knowing they’re doing what you’d have wanted.

If you haven’t already thought about whether you’d want to be buried or cremated, and where you wish to be laid to rest, visiting a contemporary cemetery such as GreenAcres can help you to make some of those difficult decisions. You’re welcome to arrange a tour and talk things through with a member of the team.

GreenAcres parks provide a beautiful setting for your final resting place with many opportunities to represent the way you wish to be remembered for years to come.

 

And, unlike many other cemeteries, when you purchase a plot in any of the parks (whether for a Full Burial or an Ash Interment), you can choose the place you want to be buried from a variety of beautiful settings. You can also select the type of funeral or memorial service you want.