How to speak to children about grief at Christmas  

Christmas is often filled with expectation: joy, excitement and togetherness. But for families who are grieving, the festive season can feel very different. For parents and carers, understanding how to talk to children at Christmas about grief can feel especially challenging. Children, in particular, may struggle to understand why someone they love is no longer here, or why the adults around them feel sad at a time that is meant to be happy.

Knowing how to talk to children at Christmas about grief can feel daunting. Yet with warmth, honesty and reassurance, these conversations can become meaningful stepping stones towards healing. Children don’t need perfect answers — they need space, kindness and the safety of being heard.

Below are some gentle, supportive approaches to help guide conversations with children about loss during the Christmas season.

Speak with gentle honesty 

Children are often far more perceptive than we realise. Even when we try to protect them, they can sense when something has changed. Using honest, age-appropriate language helps children feel secure and builds trust. 

You don’t need to have all the answers. Simply explaining what has happened, and reassuring them that it’s okay to feel sad, can bring comfort and clarity. 

Avoid phrases that may confuse children, such as “gone to sleep” or “gone away.” Instead, explain that someone has died and will not be coming back, while gently reinforcing that our love for them remains. 

Acknowledge all emotions — not just sadness 

Children may move quickly between sadness, curiosity and laughter, sometimes within the same moment. This is a natural and healthy response to grief. 

Let them know there is no “right” way to feel at Christmas. The season can hold sadness and joy at the same time. 

You might say: 
“It’s okay to feel sad about missing them, and it’s okay to enjoy Christmas too. We can feel both.” 

Create gentle opportunities to remember 

Children often find comfort in doing something practical with their feelings. Small rituals can help them express love, remember someone special and feel included in remembrance. 

Simple ideas include: 

• Lighting a candle together 
• Hanging a photograph or special decoration on the tree 
• Writing a message or drawing a picture 

At GreenAcres Living Memorial Parks, many families choose to write messages on the wooden hearts of our memorial trees. Children often find comfort in this simple, heartfelt act of remembrance. 

Keep traditions — but allow room for change 

Some Christmas traditions may feel painful without the person who has died. It’s okay to adapt traditions, start new ones, or pause certain activities altogether. 

Involving children in these decisions can help them feel reassured and included when routines change. 

You might ask: 

• “What part of Christmas would you like to keep the same?”
• “Is there anything you’d like to do differently this year?” 

Offer comfort through presence and connection 

Children don’t need perfectly worded explanations. What they need most is closeness, reassurance and emotional safety. 

Quiet moments together — sitting, talking, walking or simply being present — can help children feel supported. 

Simple phrases can be deeply grounding: 

• “I’m here with you.” 
• “We can talk about them whenever you want.” 
• “You’re not on your own.” 

Model compassion for yourself, too 

Children learn how to grieve by watching the adults around them. Allowing yourself to rest, show emotion and practise self-compassion teaches children that grief is human — not something to hide or rush through. 

By caring for your own heart, you give children permission to care for theirs. 

There is no right or wrong way to grieve at Christmas

Grief has no timetable, and Christmas has no rules. There may be tears, laughter, questions or silence — all of it is valid. 

What matters most is connection. Families grow through grief not by erasing what has been lost, but by finding new ways to hold love alongside sadness. 

At GreenAcres, we understand how layered this time of year can be. Our Parks offer peaceful spaces to pause, remember and reflect, whether as a family, with a grieving child, or on your own. 

However, you choose to navigate Christmas, please know that you and your child are not alone. We are here through every season, with compassion, care and gentle understanding. For further support and resources, please click here.