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A eulogy is one of the most powerful moments of a funeral service, offering family and friends the opportunity to share treasured memories and celebrate the life of someone deeply loved.

Whatever form the funeral takes, from a religious burial to a Celebration of Life, delivering the eulogy can feel overwhelming. It means capturing a lifetime of memories in just a few words, while navigating the emotions that come with saying goodbye.

Writing a eulogy is about capturing the essence of a loved one and speaking from the heart. Translating those potent feelings into words is not always the easiest task.

With that in mind, here is a brief guide to writing a eulogy, from a step-by-step writing process to delivery advice and advice for making it special.

What Is A Eulogy?

A eulogy is a short speech that honours someone’s life, helping to bring comfort and connection to the family, friends and loved ones who held them dear.

There are many different types of eulogies, which range from short biographies to deeply personal and heartfelt accounts of particularly strong memories of a loved one. There is no singular approach you have to take when delivering a eulogy.

Some eulogies can be given whilst someone is alive (usually during a milestone birthday or when retiring), whilst other eulogies are written by the person themselves to be read after they pass away.

When they are given often depends on religious traditions, the format of a service and personal preference. They tend to be part of a Celebration of Life, whilst their place in more religious ceremonies tends to be at a person’s final resting place before the wake.

How Do You Write A Eulogy?

There is no singular approach to writing a eulogy, and the only true advice is to speak from the heart, but here is a step-by-step process to get started.

Step 1: Gather Together Memories, Anecdotes And Stories

If you are delivering a eulogy, take some time to think about all the moments that immediately come to mind with your loved one. A eulogy is about sharing these beautiful memories.

Think about moments you shared together, funny moments, favourite songs, catchphrases or quotable notables they would frequently bring up, or simply what they meant to you.

Ask friends and family for contributions too. Unfortunately, you may only be able to use a few of them in your eulogy, but it creates a rich tapestry for their life.

Step 2: Choose A Simple Structure

There are plenty of eulogy structures, but choose what feels simple and natural to you. A eulogy’s brevity means that the simplest approach is correct:

Finding the right words can be tricky, but by keeping it simple, you can focus on writing what you want to say.

Step 3: Find Your Voice

A eulogy can be as formal or informal as feels right for you. You may choose simple, everyday language or a more traditional style, but the most important point to bear in mind is that your words feel genuine and reflect your relationship with the person you are remembering.

It can help to begin by writing from the heart, then read your words aloud to hear how they sound when spoken.

Step 4: Keep It Short But Heartfelt

Your funeral director can offer guidance on how much time you will have to deliver the eulogy. Many last between five and ten minutes, although the right length will depend on the service and what you would like to share.

Shorter speeches are also easier to say, particularly if you need to pause to gather your emotions.

Step 5: Practice Speaking It

Say it out loud, not just to help you remember it for the day but to identify parts of the speech that work on the page but do not work when speaking it.

Print out a copy so you can refer to it if you are caught up in the moment, and ask someone to help you deliver the speech if you can’t find the words anymore.

Top Tips For Writing And Presenting A Eulogy

Exactly how much a pre-paid funeral plan will cost depends on the type of funeral ceremony, the Burial Park or final resting place that has been chosen, any aspects of the service that may vary and any additional memorial features such as headstones or flowers.

According to the Cost of Dying Report by SunLife, the cost of a funeral ranges on average from £1,628 for a direct cremation, to £5,440 for a traditional attended funeral with a mid-range coffin, limousine, flowers and other additional amenities.

SunLife’s figures are estimates, but to explain why they can vary so much, here is a brief guide to pre-paid funerals, what is typically included, what affects the price, why you should consider one, but also what alternatives are available instead.

What Is A Pre-Paid Funeral?

A pre-paid funeral is a payment plan that allows you to organise and pay for your funeral or a funeral for your loved one ahead of time.

It is not a savings account or a lump sum; you choose a set of services you want to have as part of your funeral, and it goes to a registered provider, who keeps the money in a trust fund and pays for the services that have been agreed to.

The plan will cover the services that have been agreed to even if they cost more than the price of the plan due to inflation or increased costs.

Funeral plans are regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority and have been since 2022, ensuring that you have peace of mind that your plan will be honoured and you have peace of mind that the price of the plan is how much you will pay going forward.

What Is Included In A Pre-Paid Funeral?

What is included as standard in a pre-paid funeral will vary depending on the particular payment plan, but typically includes:

It does not include everything; for example, posting a notice in a newspaper of record, floral wreaths, live musicians or anything related to a wake are typically not covered by a funeral plan as standard.

As well as this, a burial plot, headstone and counselling services following a funeral are sometimes part of a funeral plan but can also be excluded or cost extra.

What Affects The Price Of A Funeral Plan?

A funeral plan has always covered the fundamental basics of a funeral, enough to ensure that a deceased loved one gets a respectful ceremony and either space for their ashes to be scattered or stored or a burial plot for their body to rest.

Anything beyond that may cost extra, but what is considered essential and what is not will depend on the funeral director, and can shape the price of the plan in ways that can make it harder to make like-for-like comparisons.

Typically, the following will cost extra or could increase the cost of a funeral plan:

Why Should You Consider A Funeral Plan Now?

The biggest reason to purchase a funeral plan now is to lock in the funeral fees now before they increase due to inflation and other price increases. It also allows you to spread out the cost and make choices about how your funeral will take place.

It is vital to note that funeral plans can vary in terms of the costs they guarantee; sometimes they will cover direct costs for services they own whilst estimating disbursements, third-party fees paid to doctors, churches, Living Memorial Parks, and anyone else not part of their company.

In other cases, they will cover both sets of costs, and it is vital to know what a funeral plan covers before buying.

What Are The Alternatives To Pre-Paid Funerals?

Aside from pre-paid funerals, you can use your own savings to cover funeral costs, which will often be mentioned as part of a will or probate proceedings.

As well as this, an over-50 plan or funeral insurance will typically pay out a lump sum which covers funeral costs and other expenses, whilst a life insurance plan written in trust ensures that any money goes directly to your named beneficiaries.

The passing of a loved one is, of course, a very sad time, but funerals do not necessarily have to be mournful and austere occasions. 

A celebration of life funeral service, for example, puts the emphasis on happy memories of the life that was lived and the joy they brought to others.

There has never been one set way to go about holding a funeral and different traditions have arisen over time, inspired by culture, religion and circumstance.

There are no set rules to say you must follow a traditional funeral service format with everyone wearing black, slow processions and sombre music. Instead, there can be joy, colour and anecdotes to get people smiling.

Indeed, a 2024 survey found that 68 per cent wanted funerals to be more about celebration than mourning, up from 58 per cent in a previous survey in 2019.

What Happens In A Celebration Of Life?

A key feature of celebrations of life is that a stand-alone service takes place after a cremation, so there won’t be a coffin at the centre of it all. Instead, the focus is on:

What Do You Wear To A Celebration Of Life?

The question of what to wear at a funeral often brings to mind traditional, formal clothing in darker colours.

If you ask “what colour are you supposed to wear to a celebration of life?”, the answer will often depend on the wishes of the family and the nature of the occasion. 

You may be invited to wear your loved one’s favourite colour or something that reflects their personality, for example.

The colour scheme is often individualised in this way but it might be that the celebration takes a different tack and simply asks people to wear bright clothes or casual outfits. 

Once the traditional way of marking someone’s passing is abandoned, all possibilities exist.

Do You Bring Gifts To A Celebration Of Life?

It’s not expected to take gifts to either a celebration of life or a more traditional funeral, although if you do want to bring a sympathy card or flowers, this is certainly sure to be appreciated by those closest to the departed.

There are some alternative gifts that you might also want to bring:

Something to approach with caution is the purchase of gifts with a religious theme, which may or may not fit the tone of the occasion depending on the beliefs of the one who has passed and those close to them.

Who Should Speak At A Celebration Of Life?

Deciding who should speak at a celebration of life highlights also differs from a traditional funeral, where the service will be led by a minister or celebrant. 

In some funerals, nobody else speaks, while in others there may be a tribute or readings by others.

In a celebration of life service, the typical approach is for a much wider array of people to speak. These can include family members, friends, work colleagues and perhaps a guest speaker when appropriate.

As such, there isn’t one person leading the service, but a succession of friends and family sharing anecdotes.

These features make celebrations of life an occasion for joy, creating and sharing happy memories instead of a day of tears. It may be little wonder that they are growing in popularity.

Choosing a natural burial ground, either for your loved one or preplanning your own funeral, ensures being laid to rest in an environment where the different seasons can truly be felt.

Traditional graveyards are dominated by gravestones, statues and neat, artificial features such as long, straight tarmac paths and immaculate lawns, so much so that the energy is largely the same throughout the year.

However, a natural burial park offers something different. Because nature can be felt more keenly, visitors are able to remember loved ones in a hugely meaningful way.

This remains the case throughout the year, with the changing of the seasons offering different opportunities to connect with the earth, giving you different perspectives on life, death and all that lies in between.

The Joys Of Autumn

With autumn just around the corner, the days will start to become noticeably cooler and darker. Autumn truly is a time of cycle and rhythm, as the verdant green leaves of summer start to transition to shades of deep golden brown, red, purple and yellow.

Being closer to nature at this time of year can help you discover a sense of peace and sanctuary. As the leaves start to change, so too can you feel the comfort of the season’s natural rhythms.

Autumn foliage is something that we are all familiar with as the year progresses, providing a glorious colour contrast to what has gone before, a final vestige of beauty from the trees before winter arrives.

Why Does The Passing Of The Seasons Help You Feel In Tune With Nature?

In many ways, the changing seasons can help you feel at peace about the passing of a loved one. The natural shifts of the seasons can be seen as an analogy for the seasons of life.

Each of us goes through childhood, young adulthood, ageing and then passing away. It is all part of a natural cycle and, just as death brings sorrow, so new life can bring joy.

We can see this in autumn as well, a last flourish of colour. And, of course, winter brings its own beauty, characterised by a sense of peace and restorative stillness, keenly felt in the crisp, cold air.

A natural burial ground is a place of peace throughout the year, but it can be particularly serene during the autumn months.

Embrace feelings of calm and contentment and even, perhaps, joy, as you visit your loved ones, gaining a deeper sense of connection to the earth and a greater understanding of your place in the world.

The grieving process is different for all of us. There is no single way to grieve and, even though there are various psychological models to help explain and better understand grief, it is widely acknowledged that there is no universal experience of loss.

When you have lost someone you love, it can be incredibly difficult to navigate the emotions you’re experiencing and find meaning in your loss. 

However, with time, compassion and support, it is possible to find meaning in grief and to honour your loved one in a way that also brings meaning to your life. 

Before we get into finding meaning specifically, it helps to look at the five stages of grief as defined by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in her Change CurveⓇ.

The five stages of grief

The five stages of grief that Kübler-Ross identified are:

It’s important to note that these are not stages you will pass through in a linear fashion. You may even experience more than one of them at the same time. Often you will move back and forth between them. This is a very normal way to experience grief.

You may not experience one or more of the stages set out here either. The purpose of Kübler-Ross’ work was to help people like you better understand grief, although her work has since been applied to coping with change in many settings. 

Kübler-Ross also worked with grief expert David Kessler, who added a sixth stage to those originally described: finding meaning.

This revelation came after David lost his son unexpectedly. In an interview with the Guardian, he explained that this led to him reaching a stage beyond acceptance. “It was finding meaning: the possibility of being able to discover something meaningful in my grief.”

What does finding meaning in grief relate to?

Kessler stresses that finding meaning in grief does not mean focusing on the moment or manner of a loved one’s passing, but instead in focusing on how they lived their life, what they taught you and how you can carry their memory forward. 

What that meaning looks like for you will be very personal. It can also take time for you to find that meaning. Just as there is no set timeframe for grieving, so too there is no standard length of time it will take to find meaning in your loss.

You may also find meaning in your grief without understanding why your loved one passed when they did. 

The idea of finding meaning in grief is to look within, at how both your grief and the life of the person you cared deeply about have changed you and how you can honour that shift in your life moving forward. 

Questions to help you begin the process of finding meaning

In his book Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief, Kessler shares a series of questions you can reflect on when you reach a stage in your journey where you feel ready to do so. 

The concept of finding meaning is grounded in “remembering those who have died with more love than pain”.

The following reflection questions can be a useful place to begin, but be gentle with yourself. There is no need to rush this process, nor to sit with any of these questions for a long time: 

You may want to keep a journal throughout this process, as writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you to process them. 

Other ways to help you find meaning in grief

There are many ways to find meaning in your grief and the best way for you to approach this part of your journey will differ from other people. That’s normal, as we said at the start of this blog, there is no right or wrong way to do this. 

The following are some other ways to help you find meaning in a loss:

Hold a celebration of your loved one’s life

Hosting a Celebration of Life Memorial Service can be a wonderful way to honour your loved one and bring everyone in their life together to consider the imprint they left on you and the others around them.

Some people choose this personalised form of service instead of a traditional funeral service, but there is no reason why you can’t arrange a Celebration of Life Memorial Service further down the line.

One of the most beautiful parts of these services is when everyone shares their stories about the person you all loved. This can give you an insight into the impact they had in every part of their lives and help you see just how much your loved one meant to others. 

If you have planted a Living Memorial Tree in their honour, this provides the ideal setting for a small gathering where you can remember them and talk about how their presence in your life left a positive mark. 

Attend a bereavement café

We host regular bereavement cafés within our parks to give you a safe space to talk about your loss and feelings with others who are experiencing their own grief. You can share as much or as little as you would like. 

You can talk about your loved one and your memories together, you can open up about your grief, you can simply sit and listen to others talking about their experiences and take comfort in knowing you are not alone. 

Sometimes talking about your loved one with people who didn’t know them can help you see them in a different light and highlight other ways in which they brought meaning and value to your life. 

Create your own remembrance ritual

Creating your own ritual for remembering your loved one can be a valuable way to help you find meaning in your grief. The idea is to find a way and place where you can remember them with feelings of love and comfort. 

Many people find our green Burial Parks become a sanctuary in themselves, so spending time at your loved one’s final resting place, surrounded by the beauty of nature, could be a good place to start.

In a world that can often feel like it is moving too quickly, bubbling with tension, stress and slowly-healing scars, we are all longing for a place to relax, rest and contemplate.

Explorer and natural historian Edward Wilson once claimed that all of us are inherently drawn towards the natural world. Even if you prefer city life, there are times when stepping away and surrounding yourself with nature can make all the difference.

Experiencing the beauty of a green park can have a huge impact on your health and wellbeing, particularly if you are trying to find solace and healing.

We often look to nature when hurt or grieving, finding that it helps us come to terms with significant change. Here are just some of the reasons why it can be so beneficial.

How Does Nature Infuse The Senses?

From the sound of birdsong to the fresh, earthy smell of summer rain, nature stimulates all five of our senses, which can provide a powerful impact on our mental and physical health.

Walking in nature invites you into a deeply immersive world, one that can provide healing by drawing you into the present body and mind by tapping into the power of each sense:

Discover Nature’s Tranquility

It is rare to find places where we are comfortable in solitude, but on a beach, in a beautiful glade or walking along a meadow can be particularly healing, helping you feel less alone.

Nature is often quiet without being silent. Trees and greenery soften the noise of everyday life, allowing the gentler sounds of the natural world to come through.

It is a living silence, one not defined by absence or loneliness but which instead invites reflection and catharsis.

This is why we sometimes feel more comfortable shouting or screaming our emotions out into the wind when we can no longer hold them in, and this can help in a small way to clear our minds.

It works because it encourages us to naturally seek out a state of mindfulness; grief can create a swirling maelstrom of emotions, and one way to stop it is to reconnect with our environment around us and use that to reconnect with ourselves.

Are The Healing Benefits Of Nature Universal?

One of the biggest debates surrounding the healing part of nature is whether it is an innate part of humanity, whether some people crave nature more than others, and to what extent it is a consequence of the world we are brought up in.

Much like how everyone needs social contact but some people are more comfortable with their own company than others, everyone is biophilic.

However, what is universal is that nature can help in some way depending on what you need. If you need to be heard, nature provides stability and presence as you work through your feelings.

How Can Nature Restore Meaning And Wonder To Life?

During times of grief, the world can feel a lot smaller. The most vivid edges of colour begin to fade.

Nature nourishes the soul with the knowledge of a world filled with beauty and new opportunities. The rivers will keep flowing, the trees will flourish with leaves in the springtime, and animals will make their homes and families in the undergrowth.

Simple pleasures such as a nature trail can show you how beauty and meaning can be found in even the smallest of ways.

Feel Connection Through Nature

We are all part of an ecosystem, even if we live in urban landscapes that can feel far removed from anything natural at times, and immersing yourself in nature helps you find your place in it.

Everyone has a place and a purpose in nature, and everyone can make a contribution and leave an impact in their own small, special way.

Part of this wonder and beauty comes from the acknowledgement that you belong to something so much larger than yourself and your lived experience. It is this connection that grounds you, which helps you navigate your grief.

Losing a loved one is challenging for many reasons.  The grief that follows a loss is deeply personal, and everyone experiences it in their own way. Often, when someone passes away, there are practical decisions and arrangements to make in the days and weeks that follow. 

Organising a funeral and dealing with the practicalities of losing someone you love can give you a focus during the early weeks and months of a loss.

However, once the funeral has passed, you may begin to consider how life might look as you move forward while continuing to hold your loved one close in your heart. 

This can be particularly hard to do when it is your partner who has passed away, because they will have been part of your daily life in a way that no one else is or was. 

 There is no right or wrong way to navigate life after loss. What works for one person may not work for you. What we’re going to share here are some suggestions of steps you can take to help you create a new routine. 

 Take what feels meaningful and supportive for you. Try different activities or approaches, but if they don’t fit in your life, it’s okay to set them aside and try something else. We all grieve in different ways, which means we also all rebuild our lives in different ways.

  1. Celebrate your loved one’s life

There are two elements to this. One is the funeral or memorial service you plan. This is an opportunity to publicly share your grief with others, which many people find helpful. 

But once that day has passed, you can still create moments in your day-to-day routine where you honour and celebrate your loved one. 

This might involve visiting a place you both loved to spend time together and allowing space for the memories and emotions that arise. Or it could be taking a regular walk in the Memorial Burial Park where your loved one has been laid to rest. 

 Having a special place where you feel connected to your loved one can offer comfort and continuity. This is a safe, calm space where you can express your emotions freely and feel connected to the person who has passed. 

  1. Set yourself a goal

When we lose someone we love, we can feel as though we have lost control of our lives. In some cases, it can also knock our confidence in our ability to do certain activities. All of this is very normal when you are grieving someone.

One way to start to  rediscover a sense of confidence and stability is to set yourself a goal. This needs to be a goal that will stretch you a little, but that is still achievable within a reasonable time period. 

Each goal you achieve will help to rebuild your confidence and remind you of your own strength, which is important when you feel as though a lot of change has happened outside of your control.

You can choose to focus on any area of your life, whether that is picking up a new hobby, learning a new skill, doing exercise or travelling to a particular place. 

When you are deciding what you would like to focus on, it can be helpful to explore your values and think about what brings meaning to your life. 

  1.  Reflect on your daily routine

Before you begin creating a new routine, it can be helpful to examine what you currently do each day or week. 

If you feel able to, write down what your routine looked like before your loss. Then look at which areas will change from necessity and which you could choose to change. This in itself can help you feel more in control of your situation. 

When you are creating a new routine, prioritise your needs each day. This often means allowing yourself more time than you would usually for activities as you may need to slow down while you’re navigating your grief. 

Consider what needs to happen each day and set any tasks that don’t fall into that category to one side. 

  1. Make space for self-care

 Grief calls for patience, kindness and compassion towards yourself. You need to allow yourself to grieve and understand that this means you may not always be in a position to stick to a rigid routine. 

Many people find it valuable to incorporate self-care practices into their new routines. These can range from attending a regular yoga class to meditating for five or ten minutes each day. 

There are various meditations for grief available online, so if this is an activity you would like to try, take some time to find one that works for you. 

Research has found that regularly meditating can reduce feelings of depression and anxiety. While these studies are not specifically focused on people who are grieving, they highlight the power meditation can have to improve our mental health. 

Mindfulness can also be helpful as it brings your focus into the present and what you have in the here and now, which can help you see the beauty in the world around you even when you are grieving the loss of someone you love. 

  1. Create moments for social connection

When you are grieving, it is understandable if you feel that you want to be alone. However, if you isolate yourself from your friends and family over the long-term, it can make dealing with your grief more challenging. 

It is very common to feel lonely after losing a loved one, especially if they were your partner who provided companionship. 

As you consider what your new normal might look like, build in moments for social connection with those you love and care about.

This could look like organising to go for a coffee or a walk in nature with one friend each week, or even joining a support group to help you through your grief and introduce you to other people who are in similar situations. 

You may want to try volunteering to meet new people and engage with a cause you care about. The key is to find a form of social connection that serves you and to build that into your routine so it doesn’t fall by the wayside. 

In the lead up to your loved one’s funeral, there will have been much to consider and plan. Opportunities to think about what you would like to do with their ashes after their cremation may have passed you by in a blur. 

Know that there is no need to rush this decision. It is important to take your time so you can find the best way to honour your loved one’s memory while supporting yourself and others in grief. There is no right or wrong choice – only what feels right for you and your family.

With around 80 per cent of people in the UK choosing to be cremated, it is likely that you will need to think about what to do after the service.

Here, we aim to answer some of your questions, not only about what you can do with ashes after cremation, including information about the cremation process itself. 

What can you do with a loved one’s ashes after cremation?

There are various ways in which you can honour your loved one’s life once their ashes are returned after cremation. Every family is different, and each person’s way of remembering someone they love is unique.

Some of the most popular include:

You can incorporate this as part of a broader celebration of your loved one’s life. In fact, the Co-Op Funeral Trends Report for 2024 found that over two-thirds of those surveyed believe funerals are now more like a celebration of life rather than a time for reflection. 

In addition, the survey found that people are increasingly favouring unique funerals that reflect their loved ones’ lives and personalities, rather than following tradition. And there’s nothing wrong with taking this same approach when you scatter your loved one’s ashes. 

Some families choose to honour their loved one in deeply personal ways. The Co-op Funeral Trends Report, for example, shared stories of ashes being incorporated into a firework display or released from a steam train, reflecting the unique passions and personalities of those being remembered.

Scatter their ashes somewhere meaningful

When you’re deciding where to scatter a loved one’s ashes, consider a place that held special meaning for them. 

It might have been somewhere they loved to spend time, a favourite walking spot, a destination for family holidays, or somewhere they often visited for peace and reflection, such as a local park.

This can be a lovely activity to carry out as a family, where you can share stories and talk about your loved one at the same time. 

One study found that just over 69 per cent of people chose to bury or scatter ashes with friends and family present, and that doing so helped reduce the grief they felt compared to in situations where a loved one’s ashes were retained by a member of the family. 

Create a Living Memorial with your loved one’s ashes

Many families find comfort in creating a Living Memorial with a loved one’s ashes, offering a peaceful place to remember them while celebrating a life well lived.

A Living Memorial is a beautiful tribute. It’s where you bury your loved one’s ashes in nature, such as in a green Burial Park. The idea is that their ashes support the plants growing around the site of their burial, providing a living, breathing space you can visit at any time.

Keep their ashes somewhere that means something to you

There is no reason why you can’t choose to keep your loved one’s ashes in an urn and place them somewhere that holds meaning for you. 

As with all elements of the grieving process, we each approach the loss of someone we love differently. For some, this may mean keeping a loved one’s ashes at the heart of the family home, while for others, it may feel more appropriate to keep the urn somewhere more private.

Remember that you don’t have to scatter a loved one’s ashes as soon as you receive them. Grief has no set timeline and there is no need to rush if you’re not ready to decide what you’d like to do.

If you do keep your loved one’s ashes at home, it’s important to keep a written record of where they are stored. It can also be helpful to share what you would like to happen to them in the future, as so those closest to you understand your wishes.

Bury their ashes in a Tree Circle

If you would like a designated location where you and others can come to connect with and remember your loved one, burying their ashes in a Tree Circle can be a wonderful option. 

These are dedicated spaces in green Burial Parks, where you can lay your loved one to rest. Because they are shared resting places, they are clearly marked and this can give you a natural focal point in the form of the trees, rather than a grave, to visit.

Despite their name, Tree Circles are not only located in the woodland areas of our Parks. We also have Tree Circles in wildflower meadows, orchards and on lush lawns, so you can choose a space that feels best suited to your loved one. 

Split their ashes so you can remember your loved one in different ways

 If members of your family, or your loved one’s friends, have different ideas about how they would like to remember them, you may choose to divide the ashes so that everyone can honour their memory in a way that feels right for them.

Or you could consider spreading ashes in different locations that hold meaning for you – or even scatter their ashes at important milestones throughout a journey. 

There is no right or wrong way to scatter ashes and connect to your loved one. If you and others in your family can’t agree, splitting their ashes can be an excellent solution that allows all of you to remember them in your own way.

3 FAQs about scattering ashes

Do you need permission to scatter ashes?

Whether you need permission to scatter ashes depends on where you want to scatter them. In the UK, you can scatter ashes without permission in the sea or on any river or waterway. 

However, you must ensure you don’t throw other tributes into the water that could cause pollution or harm wildlife. This means it’s best to avoid throwing wreaths into the water, for instance, as they can often contain metal or plastic parts. 

When scattering ashes in a body of water, make sure the spot you choose isn’t near buildings, marinas or those using the water like bathers or those fishing. 

The Environment Agency guidance also states you need to be at least one kilometre from where water is abstracted.

Alternatively, you can scatter ashes on your own land without needing permission to do so.

In other cases, you will need to seek permission from the landowner if you want to scatter your loved one’s ashes on private land. 

However, there is no specific law covering the scattering of ashes and provided you are somewhere discreet and peaceful, there is unlikely to be any issue. 

How is it best to scatter ashes?

If you decide to scatter your loved one’s ashes, there are a few practical things to keep in mind to help the moment go as smoothly as possible. Stand upwind of the person releasing the ashes and scatter them gently from around waist height to help prevent them from being carried away by the breeze.

There are special devices you can use called scatter tubes, which can make it easier to spread someone’s ashes. It’s best to fill these before the gathering to make sure it goes smoothly. 

Can you take ashes abroad?

Some countries allow you to travel with ashes that you wish to scatter. However, it’s important that you carry out research on the rules about travelling with ashes before you leave. 

Among the paperwork it is helpful to obtain are:

Make sure you also check what the rules are for scattering ashes in your chosen overseas location too, so that you know you can do so once you arrive.

How long do ashes take to come back after cremation?

It often doesn’t take long for ashes to be available for collection following a cremation. In some cases, they can be ready as soon as one working day after the funeral. However, most funeral directors advise that it can take one to five days for the ashes to be ready for collection. 

This means you can plan a separate ceremony to scatter their ashes within a week or two of the cremation taking place. 

3 FAQs about cremation

How is a body prepared for cremation?

When someone dies, their body will be transported to a funeral director before they are cremated. Here, trained staff will remove any items that can be hazardous when burned, as well as any jewellery or prosthetics. 

In most cases, the body will then be preserved in a cool storage space until the day of the cremation. Funeral directors do not usually embalm bodies that are due to be cremated, although they can if there is to be an open-casket funeral ahead of the cremation. 

On the day of the cremation, staff at the crematorium will place a metal disc with the person’s name on it on top of the coffin. This disc can withstand the temperatures in the cremator and it ensures that the staff always know whose ashes they are handling once they come out of the cremator. 

How long does cremation take?

The cremation process itself is relatively quick, typically taking between 60 and 90 minutes depending on the type of coffin you selected. This is why it’s possible to receive your loved one’s ashes so promptly after their cremation. 

What is direct cremation?

Direct cremation simply means that you do not have a funeral service at the crematorium on the day of the cremation. If you want to mark your connection with your loved one and celebrate their life in nature, this may feel more fitting. 

Some people prefer to collect their relative’s ashes and hold a funeral away from a formal setting like a crematorium, which is understandable. 

Get in touch

GreenAcres provides burial, cremation and memorial services within natural woodland and parkland settings across the UK. 

Our Living Memorial Parks offer a sustainable, nature-led alternative to traditional cemeteries, with ongoing care, memorialisation options, and spaces designed to support remembrance, reflection and wellbeing. 

We also host community events, remembrance services and provide resources to support people living with grief. If you’d like to find out more, get in touch with the team today.

Grief is never just about the mind. The pain of loss can be physical in ways that many people often don’t realise. There are gentle ways to help ease some of these physical effects as you come to terms with your loss, helped by having your loved one laid to rest in a green burial park.

One aspect of grief that isn’t always recognised is that phrases like “a broken heart” are often thought of as being entirely metaphorical, when in fact grief can have very real physical effects.

It may be said that this stems from the way that most people in the Western world think; a concept dating back to the Greeks of the mind, soul and body being autonomous entities.

The reality is very different:

Is A Broken Heart A Real Thing?

As for the broken heart, this really isn’t a metaphor. True, your heart does not physically disintegrate, but grief can lead to chest pain and disrupted heart rhythm due to your body releasing a stress hormone.

You can even have ‘broken heart syndrome’, which mimics the pain of a heart attack.

Grief certainly does have a physical aspect. If you have ever felt in such pain that your health is in actual decline, you can be sure that you are far from alone.

Is this something you have to endure for a time, along with the emotional sorrow? Or can you take steps to release the grief from your body?

The answer to the first question is no. The answer to the second is yes.

Your priority should be to seek medical attention if the physical manifestations of your grief are serious. You should also do this if symptoms persist for several months.

What Practical Steps Can Ease The Physical Pain Of Grief?

Several practical steps can not only manage the physical issues, but help to ease them:

The last of these can be combined with visiting a green burial park. A very good reason for having your loved one buried there is that when you visit, you can do so in an environment that is relaxing, natural, but also provides some gentle exercise.

Short walks can boost cortisol levels, improve mood and help you sleep better. This can happen in lots of settings, of course. You might be taking a walk to the local park, down the road to the shops, or up a nearby hill if you live in or near the countryside.

Can Walking In A Burial Park Ease The Pain Of Grief?

However, being able to do this in the very place where your loved one has been laid to rest could have an additional benefit.

It means that while you are doing something that acknowledges the reality of your grief, you’re also taking a positive step towards supporting your own wellbeing.

Indeed, one benefit of laying your loved one to rest in a place of peace and greenery is that it is a relaxing place, one where you can unwind, de-stress, take your time and enjoy nature.

Being in a positive place can help you to focus on happier thoughts and memories of your loved one.

Creating positive routines with a clear sense of purpose will ease you back into some form of normality, even if it is a ‘new normal’ following a bereavement.

It can combine well with a disciplined routine of consistent bedtimes and good sleep, avoiding alcohol and ensuring that you socialise regularly.

Recognising that grief causes physical pain as well as emotional pain is important because it enables you to understand that your body and mind are not separate. Looking after one helps you protect the other.

In so doing, you can find a way through your pain, looking towards a future where you feel more content.

A great benefit of choosing a natural burial ground is that it means laying someone to rest in an environment that is beautiful, calming and can help people connect to nature, taking great comfort from their surroundings, in great contrast to many conventional graveyards.

 Bereavement is a part of life that, at some point, touches us all. Where we choose to remember and honour those we love can shape how we experience grief and remembrance in the years that follow.

For some people, traditional graveyards can feel formal or overwhelming during a time of loss, offering few reminders of the natural rhythms of life. 

In contrast, green burial parks provide peaceful spaces where nature continues to grow and change through the seasons, creating opportunities for reflection, connection and remembrance.

One of the reasons many people choose a natural burial in one of our spacious green burial parks is that it enables all who visit to take comfort and strength from exposure to nature that is invariably refreshing in any circumstances.

It makes sense that if nature offers relief from everyday stresses and concerns, the same is true for bereavement, in an even more profound way.

What Is The Evidence That Green Spaces Are Good For You?

The evidence that being in natural settings is good for wellbeing in all its aspects has been highlighted by five years of the People and Nature Survey England, the last of which was published in September 2025.

Among the key findings of the 2025 edition of the report were:

·       91 per cent of adults who had visited a green space in the previous fortnight agreed that it was good for their physical health

·       90 per cent agreed it was good for their mental health

·       85 per cent said being in green spaces made them feel happy

·       62 per cent said it helped them feel part of nature

These findings were all similar to the figures produced in previous years, giving a consistent pattern and conveying in numbers a truth that most people are instinctively aware of: that immersing ourselves in nature is hugely beneficial.

Why Do Many People Dislike Graveyards?

By contrast, graveyards can vary in how green they are. There will be some that are greener than others, especially if they are in more rural settings, whereas some are covered in concrete and located in towns and cities where you can hear the sound of traffic all day long.

Not only do many people dislike and feel uncomfortable in graveyards, but some genuinely fear them, a phobia called coimetrophobia. This can be related to other fears, such as fear of the dark or of ghosts, but sometimes it is simply an uncomfortable environment.

This marks a huge contrast with the benefits for body and mind that people feel when they visit quiet, green spaces.

 As such, it makes sense for many people to choose a place of rest that feels more like a park or a stretch of countryside, rather than a setting they may associate solely with grief and loss.

Indeed, while some of our negative feelings towards traditional cemeteries may be cultural, there can be no doubt that enjoyment of greenery and fresh air is something that is loved all over the world.

How Do People Relate To Nature?

The way people connect with green spaces and nature is deeply personal, and those experiences can vary from person to person. 

Interestingly, 62 per cent of respondents to the People and Nature Survey said they felt part of nature, highlighting that this sense of connection is not universal.

 Part of this may be that, in many Western societies, people are less often encouraged to feel intrinsically connected with nature than in some other cultures (a prime example being that of indigenous Australians). 

In some ways, these sentiments may have been more prominent in pagan times.

However, even if one does not feel immersed to that extent, there can still be a feeling of connection, whether a spiritual sense of being in a beautiful part of the created order, or just a fascination with the fauna and flora and a powerful feeling of life carrying on.

Sometimes, particular aspects of green places are valued as places of calm and healing. For instance, the notion of forests as a place of great refreshment has grown, based on the tradition of ‘forest bathing’ that emerged in Japan.

This is becoming increasingly popular here, but in many ways this is not a totally new idea; it taps into that same love of nature and the benefits that it brings, helping to ease stress, anxiety, disappointment and, of course, grief, replacing them with a sense of peace and refreshment.

It is clear that being in green spaces and feeling connected to nature is good for you and, if you are buried in such a place, your loved ones will enjoy the benefits. The same will apply if you decide to have your loved one laid to rest there.

Everyone feels grief in a different way, and nobody’s response to losing a loved one will be quite the same.

Many of the steps are similar; we celebrate the life of the person we love, ensure they have a Ceremony that truly embodies who they were and what they meant.

Whilst seeking closure is universal, what this actually is will often be very different; there is no way it is supposed to look or feel, nor is there a timescale or even always a stated endpoint.

Closure is very complicated, but simple pleasures can often help you to find it. It is often found not in a single moment, but through the small steps we take to adapt to life after loss.

To understand why, it is important to explain closure, what it is and why part of the path to healing is walked through naturre.

What Is Closure?

The word ‘closure’ is deceptively simple for such a complex concept and in some respects, it is not always the most helpful term.

Closure implies an endpoint; the assumption is that there will come a day when we stop mourning and find a resolution to our feelings of loss.

In reality, closure is not about moving on but moving forward; it is about finding acceptance, understanding and relief; it is not about saying goodbye forever, but living your best life in their memory.

Sometimes this will involve a final goodbye, a release of the words we wish we were able to say. For others, it is about keeping a loved one in your heart and letting emotions and memories settle.

For others still, it is about continuing a legacy and ensuring that a part of them lives on, never to be forgotten. This could involve planting a tree in their memory, supporting a cause they loved or continuing a ritual or tradition they started.

Is Looking For Closure Helpful?

Whilst there is a natural search for answers and a familiar, almost rigid idea of closure, this is not always possible. Not everything can be so cleanly moved on from.

Because grief is so often about the absence and ambiguity, framing closure as a hunt for answers and finality can sometimes be counterproductive, even if the search for closure often leads to solace.

This is sometimes known as the “closure trap”, and it comes from the idea that the goal of processing grief is to let go, accept and put everything behind you.

But this is not how people grieve. Most do not want to put their loved one behind them in this way.

Instead, many people have a continuing bond with their loved ones, establishing a new kind of relationship with them in the face of absence.

Can Nature Help Us Find Closure? 

Nature can be both healing and supportive, but where it can be particularly important is when we search for closure.

Part of this is how nature helps to ground us in the present moment. Mindfulness often helps us to process difficult emotions such as grief, and with nature inflaming all of our senses, it can help to slow our minds and keep us focused on the here and now.

It is a space where all emotions are welcome. Nature never judges; instead, it inspires and accepts… and that can be incredibly comforting.

That release is not always necessarily overt; enjoying the great outdoors not only boosts our mood but helps us to process the emotions and thoughts that we can find difficult to address.

Nature also helps us to change our perspective on life. Nature is inherently cyclical, with death and rebirth intermingling and providing an eternal connection between past, present and future.

The natural world is incredibly resilient; even after the coldest and most barren winter, life grows again, and with the possibility for renewal, there is always hope.

People are the same; whilst loss is painful, it is also not the end. As we grow and transform, we carry the love, lessons and memories of those we have lost with us, allowing their legacy to shape the life that continues ahead.

Grief is extremely complex and difficult, and engaging with loss whilst being honest about how you feel can be especially painful.

One of the biggest questions that people reeling from the loss of a loved one ask is: Why?

Whether a search for answers or an expression of a deep-rooted anguish, we often hunt for meaning in grief, which alongside a Funeral Ceremony and suitable final resting place, can provide comfort through some degree of understanding.

If you are currently trying to find meaning amidst loss, here are five questions to ask yourself, and how you can begin to go about answering them.

Do I Need To Find Answers In Order To Find Meaning?

We are often looking for a reason why unfathomable events happen, and that is entirely understandable; answers provide security, and a lack of them can often leave us feeling unsettled.

One of the unspoken tragedies of loss is not only unfinished stories but also unanswered questions.

Ultimately, whilst it certainly can help, you do not need a complete account of your loved one to ensure that their memory has meaning. Stick to what you know about your loved one and try to avoid rumination and conjecture. 

Focus on what you know about your loved one and their wishes, and try to avoid making assumptions or dwelling on uncertainties

Remembering who they were, what they did, and the values that they held can be vital in order to find meaning following their loss, and living your life shaped by the morals and interests that they held so dear can provide clarity following a Funeral Ceremony.

Where Do You Feel Most Emotionally Safe?

There are often a lot of difficult decisions to take and arrangements to make following the loss of a loved one, and this can understandably leave people struggling to process their grief.

This is why emotional safety is one of the most important first steps of any grieving process; you need somewhere in which you can feel comfortable and safe navigating these emotions.

An emotionally safe space can be a physical location, like your home, a room, a park or a beautiful vista that you find comfort in.

A safe space is a place where we can lay the roots of healing. They are somewhere we can go to contemplate, to feel comforted and to start building ourselves up without worrying that it could collapse.

It is the base camp for any search for meaning, progression or processing, and not only helps ensure that any step forward is not followed by a step back, but also provides a place where your mind can properly rest.

What Would You Like To Say To Your Loved One?

We often have words we want to say to those we have lost that we do not get the chance. Whether it is something as simple as having one last chance to let them know what they meant to you or finding the words to express something more complicated.

Find a place for your questions and feelings to be expressed, whether that’s speaking them aloud, sharing them at your loved one’s graveside with flowers, or writing them in a journal.

 Bringing your questions and feelings into the open can help you explore them at your own pace, rather than feeling caught in a cycle of rumination.

How Would You Want Your Loved One To Be Remembered?

One unspoken part of grief is that it turns the people who loved them into curators of their legacy. The best place to start is simply to ask yourself what you want that legacy to be beyond that they were a good person who was deeply adored.

What aspects of their character, personality or life would you want to take with you? If they were an avid dog lover, would you want to adopt a dog to continue their memory? 

Would you want to start a charity in their honour? Would you want to help them achieve the dreams they were close to accomplishing?

A Celebration of Life is often preferred precisely because the ultimate goal is to determine your loved one’s legacy, especially if they lived a particularly colourful life.

What Are Your Biggest Fears About Moving Forward?

The final question to ask is one that can be difficult to answer whilst your grief is particularly raw, but it is perhaps the most important way to shape what comes next is to understand the natural fears and anxieties about keeping in place.

For example, the reason why concepts such as “closure” and “moving on” are unhelpful at times is that they imply letting go of thoughts, feelings and memories associated with your loved one, something you do not have to do in order to continue living.

For others, there is a fear that they will never be happy again or a guilt about doing so, and confronting these fears is the first step towards finding meaning and acceptance. 

In time, the goal is not to stop grieving, but to learn how to live alongside your loss while making space for hope, joy and purpose once again.

Grief is a very personal experience. We all deal with bereavement in different ways and it’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to cope with the loss of someone you love. 

For many of us, grief can be overwhelming. It often arrives in waves and we can feel a range of emotions following a loss. These can range from shock, anger and guilt to sadness, exhaustion and even relief in some situations. 

It’s important to remember that all of these emotions are valid. At times you may feel as though you are struggling to cope with your grief, which is when you may seek guidance and comfort. 

The good news is that there are a lot of places where you can go for help with your grief. You may not find the kind of care or reassurance that feels right straight away, and that is okay. 

There are many ways in which you can access bereavement support, so take some time to find the one that feels right for you. We’ve rounded up some of the places you can go for support following a bereavement. 

Cruse Bereavement Support

This charity’s mission is to create a world where everyone who is grieving receives the support they need, as well as being respected and understood. There are many ways to access help through Cruse Bereavement Support.

The charity runs a helpline that is staffed by volunteers who are trained in all types of bereavement. If you need someone to speak to, you can give them a call and talk about your experiences. 

Cruse Bereavement Support also has a number of local branches located throughout the UK where you can access both one-to-one and group sessions for grief support. 

There is also a great deal of information about bereavement, as well as different ways to cope with grief on the charity’s website that you may find valuable. 

National Bereavement Service

The National Bereavement Service is an excellent online resource that offers support with both the emotional side of bereavement and the practical elements that need to be handled when a loved one passes away. 

On its website, you’ll find a directory of all the bereavement organisations in the UK, some of which offer grief support in general and others of which are tailored towards specific kinds of losses, such as providing support with grief over the loss of a child, or the loss of a loved one by suicide.

There are also factsheets available on the website to help you better understand grief and how it might be affecting you, as well as to point you to other resources that can support you during this difficult time. 

The Good Grief Trust

This is a volunteer-run organisation designed to help you find the most appropriate support for you when you are struggling with grief. 

On the Good Grief Trust site, you’ll find over 1,000 UK-based charities and organisations that provide both national and local support to those who have experienced bereavement. 

If you aren’t sure where to start, this is a good resource to visit as it will introduce you to the many organisations providing bereavement support across the country and can help you find in-person support groups that are local to you. 

Other ways to help you cope with grief

As we’ve said, coping with grief is very personal. Some of you reading this may want to find ways to manage your grief on your own, as well as potentially seeking counselling or other external support. 

Spending time in nature can be helpful for some people. Going for a walk somewhere calm and peaceful is a good way to connect to the present and get some gentle physical exercise at the same time. 

We’ve found that our Green Burial Parks often become a sanctuary in themselves for those experiencing bereavement, because they provide a peaceful, serene space where you can connect to nature. 

Going for nature walks with others can also be a good way to maintain connections with your friends and family during what can often feel like an isolating time. 

There are certain exercises that can help you to process grief and release some of the stress that can build up in your body during this time. 

A simple grounding practice, for instance, where you root both your feet into the ground and take a moment to follow the 3-2-1 exercise can be helpful. This encourages you to identify three items you can see, two sounds you can hear and one physical sensation in your body.

Some people also find that keeping a grief journal is beneficial. Writing is a useful way to organise your thoughts and process your emotions during a challenging period of your life.

Dealing with the loss of a loved one is something many of us will experience at some point in life, and it can bring both emotional and practical challenges. 

While there is often a great deal of guidance available around funerals, probate and other practical matters, some important issues can still be overlooked.

The grieving process is certainly one of these. 

In the days and weeks afterwards, friends and family may rally around with sympathy, practical help and support, but over time that support can naturally lessen, leaving you feeling more isolated just when you may need connection the most.

Why Do You Need To Understand The Grieving Process?

Grieving does not end the day after the funeral, the day you return to work, or on any other artificially contrived date. Grief happens in stages and it is important to understand this.

This will ensure that you don’t place unrealistic expectations on yourself to ‘return to normal’ very quickly, or think something is wrong with you if you don’t.

What Are the 5 Stages Of Grief?

The simplest and most basic way to understand the grieving process is as an experience that comes in five specific stages:

These are all completely natural responses to loss, and while everyone experiences grief differently, they are often part of the emotional process of coming to terms with bereavement. 

The first thing to understand is that each of these stages is entirely normal and you are not alone.

Another important thing to remember is that these feelings are a normal part of grief, and you should try not to be hard on yourself for feeling them. It might be easy, for example, to feel guilty for your response in certain circumstances, especially in the anger phase.

Understanding these different emotions and responses can help you recognise that grief is rarely straightforward. People may experience some of these feelings at different times, in different orders, or even revisit them more than once throughout the grieving process. 

Having an awareness of this can be reassuring, helping you to understand that changing emotions are a natural part of bereavement and that there is no “right” way to grieve.

Understanding these stages can also help you when supporting someone else who is grieving, whether you are sharing that process as a sibling or if you are supporting a friend.

Developing your understanding of grief can help you bring understanding and empathy. Even if you’re not sharing in the present grief, your own experience enables you to say “me too”.

 Complexity In Grief

 While every experience of grief is personal, some circumstances surrounding a death can bring additional layers of shock, trauma or emotional complexity alongside bereavement itself. For example:

In situations like these, it is important to remember that extra support may be needed. Specialist bereavement services, counselling and support groups are often available for people coping with particularly traumatic or complex losses, and seeking help can be an important part of the healing process 

This is often available for specific situations, like a child dying or an unexpected death.

How Can A Peaceful Burial Park Help The Grieving Process?

If you’ve chosen to lay your loved one to rest in one of our Burial Parks, you may find comfort in spending time within the peaceful surroundings. For many people, having a quiet place to visit, reflect and remember can provide a sense of connection and calm during the grieving process. 

Being surrounded by nature can offer moments of peace and space for reflection, allowing you to remember your loved one in a personal and meaningful way, at your own pace and in your own time.

Grief is a deeply personal journey, and there is no right or wrong way to experience it. However, developing an understanding of grief and recognising the emotions that can come with bereavement may help you feel less alone as you navigate what can be a very difficult time.