Whether it’s expected or not, nothing can truly prepare you for the death of a loved one. Organising a funeral is one of the hardest things you’ll have to face. With so much to do and think about, it can be overwhelming to know where to begin. To help you during this difficult time, we’ve put together a simple step-by-step guide on what to do when a loved one dies and where to go for more help and advice. 

1/ Notify friends and family 

One of the first tasks you’ll need to handle after a death is informing the loved ones of the deceased. It’s important to notify close family and friends as soon as possible. You may choose to inform less immediate contacts once funeral arrangements are in place. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from those closest to you if you need additional support in sharing the news during this difficult time.  

2/ Register the death 

When a loved one dies, their death needs to be registered with the Registrar of Births, Marriages and Deaths in the district where the death occurred. Only certain individuals are legally qualified to register a death, and it must be done within five days in England, Wales, or Northern Ireland, and within eight days in Scotland. 

Who can register the death? 

• A relative of the deceased
• The person arranging the funeral
• A person present at the death 

What the Registrar will ask you about the deceased: 

• The person’s full name at the time of death
• Any names previously used (e.g., maiden name)
• The person’s date and place of birth
• Their last address
• Their occupation
• The full name, date of birth and occupation of a surviving or late spouse or civil partner
• Whether they were getting a State Pension or any other benefits 

What to take with you: 

• Medical Cause of Death Certificate
• Birth, Marriage, or Civil Partnership Certificates 

If you need support with notifying companies of a death or don’t know where to start, you may find the Life Ledger and Tell Us Once services useful. These free services allow you to notify most government organisations and businesses connected to the deceased in one go. Visit Life Ledger or Tell Us Once for more information and assistance.  

3/ Start planning the funeral 

You don’t need the death certificate to begin thinking about and planning the final goodbye. Take your time and don’t feel pressured into making decisions right away. It’s important to remember that the funeral doesn’t have to happen immediately; it can wait several weeks if you’d prefer. While your decision may be influenced by personal beliefs, there’s no legal requirement to rush this process. 

Before planning the funeral, it’s always a good idea to consider what funds are available and how much the funeral will cost. Determine how the funeral will be paid for:

• The deceased may have a funeral plan in place, which could cover some or all of the costs
• If no plan exists, funeral expense can typically be deducted from the deceased’s estate 

If you receive certain benefits and need help covering funeral costs, you might be eligible for a Funeral Expenses Payment (also called a Funeral Payment). This payment can cover

• Burial fees
• Cremation fees, including the cost of the doctor’s certificate
• Travel expenses to arrange or attend the funeral
• The cost of moving the body within the UK (if over 50 miles)
• Death certificates or other necessary documents 

In addition, you may also receive up to £1,000 for other funeral expenses, such as funeral director’s fees, flowers, or the coffin. For more information and to find out if you qualify, click here.  

4/ Burial or cremation? 

Deciding between a burial or cremation is a deeply personal preference, often guided by the deceased’s wishes if they were expressed before their passing. If your loved one didn’t specify their preference, it’s essential to consider the pros and cons of both options to ensure you honour them in the way they would have wanted. 

Burial

• Some families prefer a more traditional burial, particularly if they have strong religious or cultural beliefs that support this option
• Before making a decision, check with the family lawyer to see if there’s a lair certificate or deeds for a pre-paid burial plot, which might influence your choice

Cremation

• Cremation is often chosen for the flexibility it offers in memorialising a loved one. Ashes can be kept, scattered in a meaningful location, or divided among family members
• If you decide on cremation, a medical practitioner or GP will need to issue the necessary cremation paperwork. This paperwork will be forwarded to your chosen Funeral Director, and a fee will be charged for this service

The medical practitioner or GP will also provide a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death which is forwarded on to the registrar, allowing the family to officially register the death.

All legally required paperwork must be submitted to the crematorium at least 24 hours before the funeral service can take place.

5/ Choose a Funeral Director 

You have the option to either organise the funeral yourself or use a Funeral Director to assist with the arrangements. At GreenAcres, we can collaborate with any Funeral Director to help plan the service according to your wishes. 

Tips for choosing a Funeral Director: 

• Take your time, there’s no need to rush this decision. Take the time you need to find the right Funeral Director who meets your needs
  
• Ask friends and family for recommendations. You can also look at impartial reviews on Google and Facebook to gauge whether they’re the right Funeral Director for you
  
• Check what’s included in the price and compare quotes to find one that suits your budget
  
• Ensure you understand what’s included in the price and compare quotes to find a service that suits your budget
  
• Choose a Funeral Director that easy to travel to, or consider one that offers home visits to make the process more convenient for you
  
• Talk about payment options, such as the possibility of spreading the cost over a longer period, to ensure the service fits within your financial means
  
• Ask if the Funeral Director has any formal qualifications or training, such as from the Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF), to ensure they meet professional standards

Ultimately, the choice of Funeral Director is entirely yours. By following these steps, you can feel confident that your plans and ideas will be respected and implemented. 

6/ Write a eulogy 

Writing a eulogy is a meaningful wat to honour and say goodbye to your loved one. While there are no rules about what you can and cannot say, crafting a funeral speech can feel overwhelming, especially during such an emotional time. To help make the process less daunting, consider incorporating the following ideas into your eulogy: 

• Decide on the tone
  
• Ask family and friends for their memories. These can provide inspiration and add a personal touch to your speech
  
• Consider what key points you want to include, such as the person’s character, significant life events, or favourite stories
  
• Begin by introducing yourself and explaining your relationship to the deceased
  
• Thank people for attending 
  
• Share memories of the deceased
  
• Close the eulogy with words of comfort and reflection 
  
• Keep your speech short and sweet 

For more detailed tips and advice on giving a eulogy, visit our blog. 

7/ Make arrangements for the day 

Whether you’ve decided on a burial or cremation, organising the structure of the day will help you plan the service. It’s a good idea to seek contributions from family, friends and loved ones for memories, highlights, favourite songs, or music to make the service personal and meaningful. Think about the following things:  

• Pick a venue and date that is convenient for family and friends
  
• Typically, a hearse will transport the deceased, with close friends and family following behind in limousines or other vehicles. Ensure that transportation arrangements are made well in advance
  
• Put together an order of service, which is often a printed booklet distributed to mourners when they arrive. This document outlines the sequence of events and any special instructions such as details of the wake
  
• Choose music and readings that reflect the deceased’s personality and preferences. Consider offering family and friends the opportunity to say a few words if they wish 
  
• Make arrangements for the wake. This can be hosted at your home, a local venue, or a place with catering options  

Before the day, specify any special requests, such as

• Whether mourners should wear brightly coloured clothing instead of traditional black
• Instructions for making donations to a charity in lieu of sending flowers   

8/ Decide on your memorial options 

There are several options to choose from to create a fitting and personal tribute to the person you love. Here are some options for you to consider:

• Relive happy times and create a long-lasting tribute with an entry in our Book of Remembrance
  
• Chooser a ‘greener’ option like planting a Living Memorial Tree to commemorate your loved one. Alternatively, you can opt for a biodegradable urn, which, along with the surrounding soil, nurtures a tree or wildflowers with the ashes
  
• For those who prefer a more traditional approach, consider marking the grave with a simple oak plaque or small granite plaque. You can choose an engraved inscription that reflects your loved one’s legacy
  
• In some burial parklands, you can place a memorial bench, rose bush, leaf vault, or other memorial, along with an engraved plaque

All memorial options are priced the same across our GreenAcres Living Memorial Parks. To explore these options and find the right memorial for you, please speak with a member of our friendly team.

We’re here to help 

If you need advice about funeral planning or just want a friendly ear to talk through your options, we’re here for you. Click here for more information and to access the following services: 

• Download a brochure
• Book a visit to a Park 
• Request a telephone call back 
• Email us for more information 

Bereavement support 

Grief is personal and each person’s journey is unique. We are committed to supporting you during this difficult time and offer various resources to help you navigate your bereavement. When you lose someone you love, meeting others who can relate to how you feel can help.

Our Bereavement Cafés are held within the beautiful landscapes of our Parks where you can feel the uplifting and healing power of nature around you. We promise you a warm welcome from our experienced and compassionate team.

Please feel free to drop-in, all are welcome, or you can register here.

Here are some other resources too: 

The Good Grief Trust – provide practical support and connects you to over 800 bereavement organisations under one umbrella

CRUSE Bereavement Care – offers nationwide bereavement counselling, advice and information  

The Compassionate Friends – supports bereaved parents and their families after the death of a child   

Grief Chat – a free service that allows you to talk instantly with a qualified and professional bereavement counsellor, available Monday to Friday 09:00 – 21:00 (GMT)

The Samaritans – available 24hrs a day, 365 a year. Call 116 123 for confidential support

Child Bereavement UK – for anyone affected by the death of a child

Sands – The stillbirth and neonatal death charity support anyone affected by the death of a baby, before, during or shortly after birth, whenever this happened and for as long as they need support

Caring for a wooden memorial is essential to maintain its beauty and longevity. Our wooden memorials, crafted from high-quality English oak, are coated with either Fiddes Exterior High Build Wood Oil or Osmo UV Protection Oil to protect and enhance the wood’s appearance.

However, exposure to the elements over time will naturally lead to wear and tear. Factors such as sun damage, rain, ground moisture, poor drainage, and varying weather conditions can all impact the condition of the wood. Regular maintenance and care are necessary to ensure these memorials continue to honour loved ones for years to come.

To keep your memorial looking good for as long as possible, you will need to give it a coat of Fiddes Exterior High Build Wood Oil or Osmo UV Protection Oil every 3-6 months.

Regular maintenance will help ensure that your memorial remains in good condition for years to come.

 Here are some tips to help you take care of your memorial

1. Remove the memorial and store in a dry place before applying oil
   
2. Using a soft brush or cloth gently scrub the surface to remove dirt, dust and grime. If it doesn’t improve with gentle scrubbing, you might need a fine grade sandpaper or ultra fine steel wool (0000 grade). Remember to wipe away any sanding dust with a clean cloth
   
3. Before applying the oil, you will need to ‘key’ the surface with a fine grit sandpaper. Go in the direction of the grain
   
4. Small splits and cracks may appear in the timber surface or side edges. These can be filled with wood coloured wax. We recommend Liberon Wax Filler Stick, colour light walnut for the best match. Simply rub the wax into any crack until the area is filled, then wipe off excess wax with a rag, then sand the surface going in the direction of the grain. We advise you do this before applying the oil
   
5. When the surface is clean, dry and dust-free apply a generous coat of oil with a clean brush. We advise you to apply an even coat of Fiddes Exterior High Build Wood Oil or Osmo UV Protection Oil designed for outdoor use to shield the post from moisture and UV rays. Make sure you catch any runs from the lettering or side edges when applying
   
6. Allow the oil to penetrate the wood for five to ten minutes
   
7. Before applying further coats allow to dry for a minimum of five hours. We recommend a minimum of two to three coats at each oiling
   
8. For best results gently rub with wool wire or 240 grit minimum sandpaper between coats. It is important to ensure that sufficient coats of oil are applied to give maximum protection
   
9. We advise you to conduct regular inspections for any signs of damage or wear, check for splinters, cracks or loose components
   
   

Terms & Conditions

Our wooden memorials are backed with a 12-month manufacturers guarantee from the date of installation. If your memorial develops any issue within this period, the manufacturer will replace it free of charge, except under the following circumstances:

• The memorial has not been maintained as specified in the care instructions
• The recommended oil has not been used on the memorial

Reporting issues

For any issues, please contact your GreenAcres Living Memorial Parks. You will need to provide at least two large, high-quality photos clearly showing the problem. Once we receive the photos, the manufacturer will assess the best course of action to resolve the issue.

Replacement process

If the manufacturer determines that a replacement is necessary, a new order will need to be processed. In this case, please contact the GreenAcres team for further assistance.

Please note, GreenAcres is not responsible for natural wear and tear of the memorial.

Grief is a profound, often overwhelming experience that affects us emotionally, physically and mentally. In the search for healing, many of us turn to the restorative power of nature. We know that many people get great comfort from the ritual of visiting their loved one’s final resting place. Our nature-rich Parks honour the deceased while providing tranquil spaces teeming with richly diverse flora and fauna for the living to reflect on precious memories.  

Forest bathing is a therapeutic practice rooted in the simplicity of being surrounded by the tranquility of a forest environment. If you’ve never heard of it before, this blog covers everything you need to know about how forest bathing help you navigate the difficult journey of grief and how to incorporate it the next time you visit a GreenAcres Living Memorial Park. 

What is forest bathing? 

Known in Japan as Shinrin yoku, forest bathing is an ancient Japanese practice of relaxation that involves being surrounded by the forest and engaging all the senses to experience nature’s healing power. Though the name might sound unfamiliar, forest bathing is a simple act that’s all about slowing down and mindfully connecting with the forest’s sights, sounds, smells, and textures.  

As more people look to nature for healing during tough times, forest bathing offers an escape from grief and promotes harmony between the mind, body and nature.   

What are the benefits of forest bathing for grief? 

Scientific studies have shown that forest bathing can significantly reduce stress, boost mood and enhance overall wellbeing. The benefits also extend beyond mental health, contributing to improved cardiovascular health and a strengthened immune system. 

Nature offers a calm and serene sanctuary for those dealing with grief, too. Being in nature can’t cure grief, but it can help with recovery by providing you with the solitude you need to come to terms with your feelings. Being outdoors in the beauty of a nature-rich GreenAcres Living Memorial Park lets you disconnect from your everyday life and take a few moments to connect with your loved one without disruption or distraction.  

How to practice forest bathing in a GreenAcres Living Memorial Park 

GreenAcres offers the perfect setting for forest bathing, allowing you to immerse yourself in the natural beauty and tranquility of our glorious woodland, shady glades and rich variety of flora and fauna. Here’s how you can practice forest bathing the next time you visit a GreenAcres Living Memorial Park: 

Choose a quiet time to visit 

Visit one of our Parks during a quieter time, such as early morning or late afternoon, to ensure a peaceful atmosphere that allows you to reflect on precious memories.  

Disconnect from distractions 

Forest bathing is a time to disconnect from the outside world and connect deeply with nature, so turn your phone on silent and turn off any other electronic devices to avoid distraction. 

Begin with slow, mindful movement 

Start your journey with a slow, mindful walk through the Park’s peaceful trails. Focus on each step, feeling the earth beneath your feet while letting the natural rhythm guide you. 

Engage all your senses 

Open your senses to the woodland. Notice the vibrant greens of the leaves, the scent of the flowers, the sound of wind rustling through the trees, and the textures you feel as you brush past plants or touch tree bark. 

Find a comforting spot to rest 

Sit down and immerse yourself in the tranquility of your surroundings by choosing a spot that feels comfortable for you. This could be a quiet bench, a soft patch of grass or a resting spot beside your loved one’s memorial. When you find the right location, try to stop your mind from wandering too far from the moment.  

Practice deep, healing breaths 

Focus on your breathing. Inhale deeply and draw in the fresh air before slowly exhaling to release your sorrow and stress. Let each breath help you find a sense of calm and balance. 

Allow your emotions to flow 

Give yourself permission to feel and express your grief. Whether through tears, silent contemplation or spoken words, let the forest be a safe space for your emotions. 

Reflect and write down your feelings 

You might find comfort in bringing a journal with you to document your thoughts and feelings in the moment. Writing can be a powerful way to process grief and help you understand your journey more clearly. 

End your forest bathing session with gratitude 

End your forest bathing session by acknowledging the support and peace the natural surroundings have offered you. Express gratitude for the moments of serenity and reflection. 

If you find comfort from forest bathing, you can make it a part of your routine whenever you need solace when loved ones are no longer around.  

GreenAcres Living Memorial Parks provide so much more than a prestigious funeral, burial and memorial venue. Set amidst acres of woodland, meadowland and beautifully manicured parkland, our Parks are the perfect place for you to say your goodbyes and reflect on precious memories time and time again.  

If you’re looking for a tranquil environment where you can pay tribute to the person who’s died Contact Us and speak to a member of our friendly team.

Christmas is a time for family, togetherness and creating special memories. However, for those coping with bereavement, it can also be a time when the absence of loved ones who are no longer with us becomes overwhelming. The empty chair at the table can shine an even bigger spotlight on sadness, making the loss feel even more profound.  

In this blog, we’ll share thoughtful ways to honour and remember the ones we miss during the Christmas festivities. Whether it’s lighting a candle, sharing your favourite stories or setting aside a special space for the deceased at the dinner table, these small acts of remembrance can bring comfort, keep their memory alive and kick-start new traditions. 

Light a candle

One of the simplest yet most meaningful ways to honour the deceased this Christmas is to light a candle in their memory. Many people believe that memorial candles symbolise the continuation of life in death and the enduring presence of the spirit, offering a moment of stillness and literal warmth as you look back on better times.

Adopt their traditions

If your loved one had a special festive tradition, such as baking a particular dessert or playing their favourite Christmas song on repeat, you could consider incorporating it into your own celebrations. Doing so means your loved one will continue to play a part in your festivities both now and in future Christmases. . 

Make space at the table

Christmas dinner brings loved ones together, so you may want to place a photo, a dinner plate or an empty chair at their place at the table to symbolise your loved one’s presence. These small gestures can help bring comfort during grief, especially during the busy Christmas period, which can often feel intensely overwhelming. They also offer the chance to feel close to the dead while still allowing you to enjoy the festivities.  

Find comfort through acts of remembrance

Adding a personal touch to your Christmas remembrance can make the festivities even more meaningful. Some simple ideas include finding or creating a decoration dedicated to the deceased that you can hang on the Christmas tree. You could write your loved one a heartfelt letter or even dedicate a small corner of your home to display their photo with Christmas decorations. For some, donating to or volunteering with a charity their loved one cared about can be a beautiful way to honour and celebrate their memory.  

By personalising the way you remember the deceased, you can transform grief into a celebration of who they were and what they meant to you – which is exactly what Christmas is all about.  

Hang a Christmas stocking 

If you find the fireplace looks bare this Christmas, hang a stocking in memory of the deceased. You could fill it with a few of their favourite Christmas gifts or invite family and friends to leave letters and photos dedicated to their loved one. This won’t be right for everyone, but some people find comfort in seeing the stocking full of life. 

Toast your loved one 

Before the night is over, gather your friends and family and raise a glass to your loved one’s memory. You may want to say a few words or spend a few minutes in silence thinking about the dead. Either way, proposing a Christmas toast is a lovely way to bring the memory of the deceased into the festivities.  

Share stories and traditions 

Sharing stories and continuing the traditions of the deceased is a great way to keep their memory alive. This could be as simple as taking time as a family to share your favourite memories or anecdotes about them. Memories tend to raise a smile, and what better way to spend Christmas? 

Find the support you need in a GreenAcres Park 

If you’re struggling to come to terms with grief or need someone to talk to, we hold events, remembrance services and bereavement cafés at our Parks throughout the year.  

You may find particular comfort from our bereavement cafés, which are held within the beautiful landscapes of our Parks and provide a kind, supportive space with understanding from others who are also living with life after loss. We also provide grief books, signposting information to other bereavement organisations and other resources to help with your grief journey.  

Head over to our website to find a GreenAcres event and bereavement café near you. 

Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy and togetherness, but for those grieving the death of a loved one, it can be a particularly challenging period. The constant reminders of the people no longer here can amplify feelings of loss and bring an even stronger sense of sadness to the festivities. 

If someone you care about is grieving during the Christmas holidays, knowing what to say – or what not to say – can be daunting. How do you offer comfort without saying the wrong thing? In this blog, we’ll explore compassionate ways to send a message to those grieving at Christmas. Whether through kind words or carefully chosen gifts, there are several thoughtful ways to show you care this festive season.  

What to write in a Christmas card for someone who’s grieving

Sending Christmas cards is a long-standing tradition for many people, with the world’s first recorded use of “Merry Christmas” sent in 1534. Even though writing a Christmas card for someone who is grieving can feel daunting, your words can bring great comfort. The important thing is to acknowledge their loss and show that you care. Avoid clichés like “time heals all wounds” or overly cheerful messages that may feel out of place. Instead, choose messages with sincerity and empathy. 

 Start with a heartfelt acknowledgement of their grief. For example: 

“I know this Christmas will be especially difficult for you without [loved one’s name]. Nothing I say can ease the pain, but I just want you to know I’m thinking of you and sending you love.” 

You may also want to include a brief memory or sentiment about the person who died to add even more meaning to your Christmas message: 

“[Name] brought so much joy to those around them, and their memory lives on in all of us who loved them. I fondly remember when [add a memory here]…” 

Remind the person grieving they’re not alone: “If you need anything or just want to talk, I’m always here for you.” 

End your message with a compassionate wish: “Wishing you peace and comfort this Christmas, and hoping you find moments of warmth and love amidst the grief.” 

Writing a message to someone who’s suffering the loss of a loved one is never easy. But if you find yourself staring at a blank page because you have no idea what to say or where to even start, let your message come from the heart. And remember – even if you don’t receive a reply, your effort to reach out will mean so much to the person who’s grieving.  

How to send a Christmas text or email

If you’re not one for sending Christmas cards, you may want to text or email a Christmas message instead. Sending a Christmas text or email to someone who’s grieving is a quick and kind way to let them know they’re in your thoughts. While an electronic message may feel less personal than a handwritten card, it can still offer comfort, especially during an emotionally charged Christmas period. 

As your texts and emails are likely to be shorter and more frequent, your message might include phrases like:  

• “Sending you good thoughts and love this Christmas”  
• “We did [activity] today and it reminded me of [Name]” 
• “You can call or text me any time if things get too much” 

 Tell your loved one not to worry about replying so they don’t have the added pressure of sending a message back. 

Christmas gift ideas for someone who’s coping with a bereavement

1. Personalised keepsakes: A custom photo frame, an ornament or a piece of jewellery engraved with either their loved one’s name or a special date can be a touching way to honour the deceased’s memory. 
   
   
2. Cosy self-care gifts: A soft blanket, a cosy pair of slippers, bubble bath or a scented candle are great self-care gifts that can provide physical comfort when things feel especially tough.
   
   
3. A diary and stationery: A diary and accompanying stationery set can encourage your loved one to express their emotions and write down their feelings. This can be especially cathartic to those who struggle to talk about their feelings out loud. 
   
   
4. Subscription services: There are many subscription services you could choose from, including meal boxes, TV streaming and monthly coffee pod deliveries. These can make life a little easier for the person grieving and give them something to look forward to.  
   
   
5. A donation to charity: Donating to a charity that meant something to the deceased or which offered the person grieving support is a wonderful way to honour their memory. 

Join us for our Christmas Remembrance Service 

We understand that far from being a joyous time, Christmas can be challenging and even upsetting for those dealing with loss. Our Christmas Remembrance Service provides a space for you to reflect on precious memories surrounded by people who can relate to how you feel. Book your place at your nearest GreenAcres Park on 8th December 2024 and please stay for refreshments afterwards if you feel up to it. We hope to see you there.